𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙎𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝘾𝙖𝙣 𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙧?

Chapter 7

"I will not tell Kana what you have told me, but that being said, I still condemn you for saying what she told you in private, in public." Hatori sighs, as we talk in Mom's old sewing room. I've spent many a days in this room, being scolded, crying, you name it. When I was younger, if I was in a timeout, it was in the far right corner of the room. I've told my parents I think it has a bad omen. But, they didn't listen to me. But, that being said, about a week afterwards, Mom switched to sewing at her shop, instead of home.

"I'm sorry Hatori. I'm sorry you had to hear it." I kick at an old cat toy that the family cat, Ms. Nya-Nya, has probably long since forgot about.

"No. I don't think you really are. I think you're only sorry that I heard it, because you're willing to do everything in your power to keep me from finding happiness, and freedom outside of THIS CURSED FAMILY!" He ends up shouting. When was the last time I heard him shout? The day we both found out the truth. The day I realized he'd always hate me.

"Do you think, do you think I'm that selfish and cruel!? Am I really just a.... do you really just think that You are my only reason from living? That I spend everyday, alive, making it miserable for you?" I choke. "I DON'T! I DON'T! I just.... I don't know why you hate me so much! IT'S NOT MY FAULT, I DIDN'T ASK TO BE THE DEER, OR TO EVEN BE ALIVE!"

I run out of the room, and out of the house. I don't know where to go to. Where can I go? No one is safe right now? I could trust Momo, but she's back there. I could go to Mayu... but no... she's not safe. She'd get mad if I told her that I betrayed Kana's trust.

I stop to catch my breath, and realize that I have made it into the back gardens of the Main House. "Grand... just where I want to be...."

"Natsu? Natsu, what are you doing here?" Keruno Sohma asks. Goodness, I ran so far I got to his part of the Main House.

"Uh, I was....." I can't even come up with a lie. I never exercise, so I can't say that. If I were hear to see Akito, I'd go through the front door, like always. What can I say? "Going somewhere, but I don't remember where."

I tried.

"And this place happened to take you into the private garden?" He asks. I didn't even realize I was in the private garden. I still thought that I was in just a plain, open to all Sohma family members, garden. 

I look around the private garden. Only the head of the family, and the zodiac members are allowed in here. Statues of each of the zodiacs are put throughout the small garden. The statue of the deer now has an antler missing.

"I don't even know." As my eyes search the statue that is supposed to represent me, I notice that actually, the statue is beginning to crumble. It's missing it's tail and a leg. "Has he always been in that bad of a shape?"

"Huh? No. I noticed that yesterday. Mine has completely been smashed." Kureno quietly says. When was the last time that I spoke to Kureno? Akito usually keeps him all to herself, which honestly scares me sometimes. 

"Is this happening to any of the other statues?" I quietly ask

"Ah, I thought I heard your voice, Natsu. I'm so happy to see you here. I always love you being near to me." Akito comes into the garden. She doesn't belong here. Not in a garden growing so beautifully in the spring. I can just feel the grass and flowers wilting as she passes by.

"Yes. I'm here now." I know I can't stay here. Not for a long time. These people can't give me the freedom I want. The freedom I crave. Freedom from a love I have for someone that only hurts them. Freedom from a curse that binds me to a cruel woman who wants me to always be with her. 

How? How did I get here? When did my life become like this? Has it always been like this? Have I been lying to myself all this time?

I look over at the statue of the dragon as we leave the garden, and right at the tip of it's nose, it is beginning to crumble. And multiple of the back spikes have broken off too.