The Story of Us (Book 1 of "The Story of Us" Series) [Completed]

Chapter 38 - Back to December

[Harley]

What I never told Nick that night was that my wish was to see him, and as soon as I blew out of my candles, I did. It freaked me out. I closed my eyes, blowing out the candles and when I opened my eyes, he was there, staring at me.

Why I made that my wish, to this day, I'm still not sure. I know the wish didn't come true. It just happened that he was at the right place at the right time. Those kind of things only happen in fairy tales or made-for-TV movies. They don't happen to me.

After my birthday, Nick and I texted one another regularly. He made an appointment with Brian's doctor in Atlanta but couldn't get in to see him until New Year Eve. If he didn't take that date, it would be in February, so Nick took the date even though we all wanted him to see a doctor sooner. But he insisted on seeing Brian's doctor who had a great reputation.

That's all that I really talked to Nick about besides random things in text messages. We talked about whatever the hottest song was on the radio or what was happening on "How I Met Your Mother" or "The Office." We never called one another, only texted, which I loved since I hated talking on the phone.

After my birthday party in L.A., I came back to Nashville and decided to jump head first into writing. For the first time ever, I decided to try and work with some other writers on songs that would hopefully make my next album. It was hard, trying to give off my ideas that I had for songs but couldn't write about on my own.

I kept trying to think of a song for Ella, but I couldn't without giving away my secret or without crying. I knew one day that I was going to have to tell the world because it came out in some gossip magazine. It surprised the hell out of me that TMZ or Perez Hilton didn't find out. I don't think I could have handled the press hassling me during that time. I would have cracked.

I knew my next album had to be something that would blow people away like "Better than Revenge." I admit that on the last record, I didn't dig deep enough inside of me to pull out everything that I was feeling. I knew I had to do that with this record, but at what expense? Nick and I seemed to be on good terms and would surely see one another after his doctor's appointment. I didn't want to jeopardize that by writing some song about how he promised me forever or something like that.

But that was the music that wanted to come out of me. That was the type of songs that people could relate to. You know, the songs about the backstabbing boyfriend who dumped you on the phone or the guy who you thought was your Prince Charming, riding up on his white horse, but turned out to be a toad.

The only song that I had written by myself at that point was a song that I wrote about Nick and I. I had started writing it a few years earlier but never finished it. I was inspired after seeing him and Paris at the Grammy Awards the night I performed "Last Kiss" and won Album of the Year for "Better Than Revenge." It was called the "The Story of Us," which in reality is what all of the songs I had ever written was about – Harley Harper and Nick Carter.

One of the songwriters that I tried working with told me, "You should stop writing about your ex-boyfriend. Feed off of other inspiration in your life."

She was right. I needed to do that, but what would I write about? My father who basically lived with me 24/7 at that point and would fall asleep in the recliner in his boxers? Nick had basically been my life for eight years, whether he was in my life or not.

To say the least, I didn't write with that songwriter. I always said I would only write about what I knew and that's what I was going to do, whether people liked it or not. As long as Nick was okay with it, then so was I.

[/Harley]

[December 2006 – New Years' Eve]

Nick sat next to Brian as Brian drove from the doctor's office in downtown Atlanta that afternoon. After hours of tests, they found out what the source of Nick's problem was – cardiomyopathy.

"To put it in simple terms, your heart muscle is deteriorating," the doctor told Nick as Brian patted him on shoulder. "You have to stop the drinking and the drugs. According to all your medical records that were forwarded to us, you've always been in good health, so this isn't genetic."

The thing that stood out most to Nick was the fact that whatever this problem was could lead to heart failure. He was about to be 27. He wasn't ready to die.

The doctor wanted him to come back for a series of more test on January 2nd, but in the meantime, Nick had to sit around and think about what he wanted from his life. He could quit drinking if he wanted to, that wasn't a problem. He hadn't done drugs in months. But if he kept going like he was going, he could die and he knew it.

"What are you thinking about?" Brian asked, looking at Nick as he stared out the window of Brian's SUV.

"I can quit drinking, that's not a problem," Nick said, looking at Brian. "It's just the fact of what all of that shit has done this to my body."

"You don't realize it while doing it, but it does, Nick," Brian said as Nick nodded. "You have got to take this seriously."

"I am, trust me," he said, leaning back in the seat. "I need to make some changes in my life, for real."

"The first thing you need to do is get out of L.A.," Brian said, glancing at Nick. "That place is toxic for you. Move wherever you want, but get out of there. Don't go back to Tampa. There are too many things there that will lead you down the wrong path."

"Will you drop me off at Harley's?" Nick asked as Brian started to merge onto the interstate. "She has a promise that she has to keep."

"What kind of promise?"

"I promised her I would go to the doctor only if she gave me a kiss," Nick said, grinning as Brian cracked up laughing. "It worked. I went to the doctor and now I'm going to collect my kiss."

"Nick, if you let her, Harley can help you cut out all the bad stuff in your life," Brian said as Nick nodded. "She's a good girl, well good woman. It's hard to believe you guys are in your mid-20's now. Damn, I'm getting old."