Emma & Jackson

5

It’s been a week since we came here. And there’s still one more week left.

Nini’s relatives live here. So, it’s not the first time that she came to China. Oh yes, she’s half Chinese. Her dad’s American and her mom’s Chinese.

And her name, its not actually Nini. Its Jennie. But everyone calls her Nini since she was little. Its cute just like my best friend.
Her aunt’s house is huge. It’s a mansion. With a pool, a backyard, garden, stable and everything, you know. Rich people lives.
Nini does horse-riding there. She really loves animals. I do too but I’m a bit afraid of going near them. But they are better than humans of course.

Their garden has so many fruits it makes my heart happy. It’s all very beautiful.

I spend my day satisfied. Her aunt asks us to stay but we don’t because we already paid for the hotel stay.

On my way back in the taxi I miss my own family. I have five sisters. And they are all younger than me.

Getting to come to such a nice vacation I knew I was very lucky. I never even dreamt of going to another country.

Just as I was in my own thoughts, we reached the hotel. And what I saw at the front made me shocked.

Jackson was sitting on the steps with his head bent just like the first time I saw him.

When he saw us come, he lifted his head and looked really very happy. He got up and quickly walked to us.

He opened my car door and I was a little shocked by all of it as I got out. The taxi left just as Nini got out.

“Where were you guys?”, he asks me.

“Hi Jackson”, Nini says smiling.

“Hey”, he quickly greets her and looks at me.

I’m a little stunned to answer quickly so I say “Nini?”

He looks at Nini and she replies, “We were out to see my relatives but now we’re back. Why’d you come here?”

He looks again at me and goes silent.

“I just wanted to…”, he says.

“What?”, Nini asks.

“Nothing. I actually called you guys a lot before coming but your phones must have been in the no network area. You guys must be tired. Bye.”, he says.

Okay, so I don’t understand, why did he come here? And how long has he been waiting for us? I have so many questions but I know I’m not brave enough to ask him anything. Just seeing him again is enough.

We say bye and I start climbing the hotel stairs. Nini is already inside the hotel and just once I turn to check if he’s still waiting and he does.

We just stare saying anything and then I turn back and go inside the hotel.

Once I’m in my room I run to the bathroom and start crying. I just can’t control myself. I hope Nini hasn’t seen me. It would be very hard to explain her anything right now.

My feelings are so jumbled.

Is what I’m feeling just a crush or do I really like him? Are my feelings strong enough that after going back home I won’t be able to forget him? I don’t know. But for now, I just don’t want to see him again. At least until my feelings for him go away.

Nini notices me but doesn’t ask anything. I’m so thankful. When I’m upset, I want to be completely alone.

I lie on my bed but can’t sleep. I search through my gallery until I find the photo that I’m looking for. The picture I cropped out. Jackson’s.

And in that moment, I decide what I have to do. I really have to stop. I delete it and also his number from my phone. Done.
I know it’s childish hoping that just by erasing him from my phone would also erase him from my memories. But this small step makes me feel better.

I close my eyes hoping to get any sleep tonight which I know will be very hard.