Emma & Jackson

6

I wake up but I don’t feel like I had actually slept. Whole night my body rested but not my mind.

I feel like a zombie. A robot.

I get off the bed. Freshen up. Get dressed. But don’t feel anything.

Nini and I go out to have breakfast and I don’t even order anything. Just have whatever she orders.

She keeps talking to me but my mind doesn’t understand what she was saying. I just hear what she’s saying but don’t listen.
“EMMA!”, Nini shouts and I suddenly break my line of thoughts.

“What?”, I ask.

“Are you even listening? I’ve been talking to you for the past ten minutes and you didn’t even reply once. What’s wrong with you, Emma?”, Nini asks.

“Nothing.”, I lie.

“Don’t lie to me. I know something’s up with you since last night. Now tell me quick. It’s about Jackson, right?”, Nini says.

“What? No.”, I say quickly.

“Oh please. Don’t lie to me. I’ve seen the way you both look at each other. Wait, did Jackson say something to you? Did you guys have a fight? I swear to God if he hurt you, I’d kill him.”, Nini says.

“Oh no no! stop. There’s nothing like that. It’s just…”, I say.

“What?”, Nini asks. “Omg! Do you like him?”

“NO!”, I say a bit louder.

“YES, YES, YES”, Nini says excitedly. “Tell me that’s the reason, right?”

Now I’m starting to get angry. I know I love Nini a lot but she’s making my already jumbled feelings more jumbled.

I don’t answer anything. And she too becomes silent.

After a while I look through the glass window of the restaurant in which we’re eating and I see Jackson. Ugh! Why do I see him everywhere? My idiot brains.
Oh no! Wait! That’s really him. And with him…. Is that a girl? She’s gorgeous. He didn’t tell me that he has a sister. Must be a friend. Or is that his girlfriend?
I must have been staring for too long because right at that moment Jackson turns to look at me. I quickly turn around.

But he has already seen me and is crossing the street with that girl. He spots us and comes to our table.

“Hey”, he says. He’s out of breath.

I can’t even look at him properly. And I feel angry for no reason. What’s wrong with me?

Nini briefly looks at me before greeting him.

“Guys, this is Stella. She’s my mom’s friend’s daughter. She’s from the UK. And Stella, these are two beautiful ladies that I met a few days ago.”, he says looking at me.

Oh, she’s just a friend. I feel a little relieved. But should I even care? I decided to stop myself from thinking about him then why?

“Hi. Nice to meet you.”, Stella says looking at us. She smiles at me particularly.

“Me too”, I say.

I have no right to feel jealous but I can’t help myself. I decide to act like a normal. But that’s my problem. I can never hide my feelings. Whatever I’m feeling is always written on my face.

If Jackson notices anything, he doesn’t say anything about my strange behaviour.

“Okay, then you guys continue. See you again.”, he says and leaves with Stella.

After they leave, I feel sad for no reason at all.

My sadness is the confirmation that I can’t stop myself. I like him. And maybe more.