Pinky Swear

Chapter 36: Afar

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and cringed at what I saw. Puffy red eyes, hair as tangled as a bird nest, my nose rose, and my cheeks marked with dry tears.

I had cried the whole night even though I tried willing myself not to, but it had been impossible not to. The ache in my heart wouldn’t stop, and my mind kept visioning all the happy memories Ryan’s and I had together.

We had only gone out for approximately one week, and Wednesday had made it a week.

Today was his birthday, and I can’t even pick up the phone and wish him properly. He probably thought of me a bitch for breaking up with him on the night before his birthday. Gosh, I felt so guilty about that. And I didn’t exactly break-up with him, I just gave him an ultimatum. I hope he didn’t think of it as a break-up.

The look on his face last night when I had told him goodbye kept replaying in my mind bringing more tears to my eyes. I felt horrible for what I had done, and he had been ill when I had done that to him. I should have at least waited till he was better, but when I saw how he had been with Jenny, something in me had snapped.

And the smug look Jenny had on Yesterday when she saw me crying made me want to claw out her face with my bare hands.

I stared at my phone like I had been doing all night, waiting for a call or text from him. My wallpaper was a picture of him and me by the sidewalk, stuffing our faces with chocolates. I remember his wallpaper to be a picture of me sleeping soundly on his bed and snuggling his pillow.

We had just got back from school that day, and he drove us to his house. I hadn’t realized I was so tired and dozed off the minute I hit his bed. He took a picture of me then and wouldn’t delete it after I had pleaded with him countless times. He thought the picture to be cute and didn’t know why I had been fussing over it.

A smile made its way to my lips, recalling all those happy memories. If only things had been different. I wished I could go to the past and made sure he never met Jenny but me, only me.

I stared at the time and decided it was time for me to get ready for school. I had a quick shower and got dressed in the first thing I grab in the closet. Dark pants and a grey long sleeve crop top with white sneakers. I tried applying some makeup also to hide my red nose and dark circles under my eye.

“Sweetie, are you in there?” I heard my mum’s voice from behind my door. After I got home last night, I ran up to my room and locked myself in, ignoring my mum’s calls. She tried knocking, but I hadn’t answered, I was too depressed to face her. I couldn’t even face her now, she would see past all the makeup, and insistently interrogate me.

“Honey, I don’t know what’s wrong, but just know I’m here for you, and you can talk to me anytime.” I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I heard her sweet, comforting voice.

I never told her about Ryan and me, so it would be a shock to tell her we broke up when she never even knew we were a thing.

There was silence for a while, and I thought she had left until I heard her voice again.

“I have to be a little early to work this morning. Your breakfast is in the kitchen.” She said before I heard her footsteps fade farther away from the door.

Staring once more in the mirror, I decided to put on some sunglasses since the makeup didn’t cover much.

I headed downstairs and was going straight for the front door when I saw dad in the kitchen, buttering up some toast. He was staring at me with his eyebrow cocked upward and a frown on his face.

“Dad. Good morning, I didn’t know you’ll be home at this time.” I forced a smile out but was sure it looked like a grimace. He hadn’t been at home, last night when I came, it wasn’t something new though. His job was taking much of his time.