The Alternative (Hux x Reader)

The Reunion

Reader

It had been 6 months since you and the other Rebels arrived on Ajan Kloss, Leia had been helping you and Rey train and you'd willingly buried yourself in it. Hux had not picked up your hair tie since that day on the Falcon.

He wanted nothing to do with you anymore that was clear. But you couldn't think about that, every time you lingered on the idea it ate away at you. Ripping your heart from your chest anew.  Not to mention how'd you felt when there had finally been time to take stock of who survived after the battle of Crait. None of your friends from the elite squad had made it. You'd cried for days at that loss. You even grieved for Lain, as much of an ass as he had been to you, he didn't deserve to die. 

You had just returned from running the training course for the second time that day to find Rey meditating again.

She was chanting "Be with me" over and over to no avail. You hadn't tried to connect with the Jedi yet and Leia hadn't pushed you to. You thought she might be worried about your call to the dark from your time spent with the First Order. She knew of the force connection you'd created to talk to Hux. Even though she stayed silent about it you often wondered if she thought you had some loyalty to them in a weird Stockholm Syndrome way or something.

But it wasn't the dark or loyalty that called you back there. Every night when you couldn't sleep you called out for him. But he never answered. You had grown distant from your friends especially Poe, secluded yourself in the forest and blamed it on training.

Poe desperately tried to get you to come on missions to get you flying again but you refused whenever he asked. You could tell he was worried but he was trying to give you space.

You knew he told people it was trauma that made you act this way, that the First Order did something to you. If he knew the truth what would he say?

You walked into your quarters and sat down on your bed exhaling deeply closing your eyes. You let your mind go blank just trying to stop the onslaught of memories and thoughts you knew were coming. Whenever you were alone Hux would invade your mind.

"Y/N." The voice of a man tickled the back of your mind. It wasn't Hux but it was one you'd heard before. You didn't know who it belonged to though and you didn't care to find out honestly.

You opened your eyes knowing you were hovering too close to meditation territory, it was the only time you'd heard the voices and you just weren't ready to accept the Jedi yet.

Voices shouting outside drew you from your thoughts. You got up to see what was going on and found a pretty familiar sight when you passed through the door.

Poe and Rey were yelling at each other. The Falcon was on fire and Finn looked frazzled as he tried to mediate. Yup an average day around here.

"Hey guys will you knock it off already?" You stalked over to them folding your arms across your chest and rolling your eyes in exasperation.

"Don't Y/N! We need you two out there! You're our best fighters but you insist on staying here to train." 

Poe actually looked mad there was no hint of a teasing expression on his face for once. Which admittedly scared you a little, things were always so serious, everyday was life and death when you're fighting for freedom and justice. But Poe's unwavering smile and joking attitude often made you forget some of the severity of the situation you were in. So whenever something happened that made him lose that spark of hope and humour he carried it was like ice water being poured over your head bringing you back to reality.

Rey turned frustration all over her face and looked at you expectantly probably looking for support, which normally you'd offer up in a heartbeat. Even if he was right being on the opposite side of an argument with Poe was normally too enjoyable to pass up. But seeing the frown on your face she decided to change the mood a little.