Mistakes We Made-Hardin

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Your final words, the final thing your loved one would ever hear you say.You always want it to be something happy or at least something along the lines of 'I love you'.You never want to be something like 'I love you too even though I always say to never say too because it means that your agreeing with them.There for making the women I have loved since I was 20 years old and the mother of my children think that I don't love her'.Now said mother of my children and loved of my life is now in the hospital.

I am currently driving...more like speeding to the apartment just to make a quick pit stop and check to see if Auden is home or even Emery,I don't think she is there but I want to try.Trying is something I haven't been doing a lot lately, especially where my family is concerned.

I open the door to my room to find Auden sitting on the coach crying.I'm trying here and even though the love of my life is in the hospital,Auden is upset and I'm here and this probably won't happen again considering the situation our family is in.I walk over to him, kneeling over him."Hey buddy."

He crosses his arms over his chest muttering "What do you want?"

"To talk.With you.My little boy, who is clearly upset."

"I don't wanna talk with you."He deadpans.I sigh, patting my knees before pushing myself up and sitting beside him.I expected this.I expected him to resist me, this way.But I was Auden ,I resented my Father for more abrupt reasons but his reason is very much justified.I fucked up.Tess and I fucked up and I'm gonna do everything to fix it.

"Do you remember when you were about 8 years old and you would have those bad dreams?"I ask, he doesn't respond but it's not like I expected him too so I just continue with the point I am trying to make."You would cry and run into your mom's and I's room, jumping into bed.You would sit in the middle of us and we would cuddle you to sleep.Then the next morning Emery-"

"I know!I know."He screamed, wagging his hands in the here to silence me.He takes a big breathe trying to quiet his loud sobs.

"I know you know.I'm just reminding.Your mother and I clearly have made our fair share of big mistakes."

"Yea,I know that too."He lets out an exasperated sigh."Mistakes that literally cost me my sister along with my sanity."

"I know.But Auden here's the thing about mistakes,people can make up for them and here I am, trying to make up for it."

"Your mistakes are big Dad and I don't have the time to deal with it and I just can't handle it right now."

"Why can't you handle it?What's going on Auden?"I move my hand to his shoulder, rubbing it gently.

"None of your business."He snaps, standing up abruptly."It's none of your business.I can't look at you because of what you did to my sister.You hurt her.You messed her up in the head."

"I didn't mean too.Your mom-"

"You didn't even have the balls to stop her from taking away your own daughter."He accuses."You can not sit here, look me in the eye, and say you didn't complete fuck up with Emery."

"I did Auden!I did,I know I fucking did!But I'm gonna fix it with her okay?I have to fix it with her."

"Well you better fix it fast because your daughter, the one you sent away and then came back and ended up leaving you."He points."She lives in a trailer.A literal trailer."

That stops everything."What?"How could I let this happen?I don't even let Tessa pay for a chocolate bar at a freaking gas station, yet here I am not even knowing that my very own daughter lives in a trailer.How is she even paying for it?I looked into trailers when I first got into America because I simply could not stand that frat house and living with my father was not an option.

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