The Scott's

Mistakes We Made-Tessa

"Let's talk then Hardin."I say.I know I'm wrong and I'm ready to tell him that.Emery is here in my arms right now but I have a feeling that this is just because she was vulnerable.But that's the point of a mom isn't it?I wasn't a mom to her before but I sure as hell will be know if she will continue to let me.I look down and stroke her cheek gently admiring her beauty.My daughter is one of the most gorgeous females I have ever soon and I love her to death.

Hardin interrupts my admiring."I'll just start then."He rubs his hands on his knees, avoiding eye contact with me.My hand is still on Emery's cheek and I am still caressing it gently, just like I did when she was a baby."Look,Tessa I shouldn't have said what I said.I was just angry and I took it out on you which was wrong and-"

"Don't apologize."I interrupt him.

"I didn't even-"

"You were going to apologize and you shouldn't."

"First of all you don't know that and..."He doesn't finish his sentence because he knows I'm right.He was going to apologize, baby me like he always does.Hardin babying me although makes our relationship seem perfect does more damage in the long run, not only to us but too our family.My beautiful sleeping daughter in my arms right now is living proof of that.We fucked her up.The two people that are supposed to keep her from being fucked up have fucked her up.But I'm determined to fix this,I'm determined to fix her.

"Don't apologize.I messed up for sure.You not loving although possibly be one of the worst things that could ever happen to me, might also be one of the most deserved."

"Tessa I'm always gonna love you."He reaches his hand to caress my knee, avoiding to touch Emery and wake her.

"Yea and I'm always gonna love you and your just gonna love me too. You're just gonna agree with me..."Just saying the words causes my voice to break."because we have the kids and you don't want them to go through what we want through,with separated parents and stuff."

"Tessa.That-That's just ridiculous.Are you serious?"He asks me, his face is contorted with confusion."I love you more than anything."

"Yea well, maybe I don't deserve it."

"Since when are you then that's insecure in this relationship?"

"Since I messed everything up!"I yell.Emery stirs in her sleep and I stroke her hair till she stops."Since I broke our family apart Hardin."I say but this time lowering my face.I'm full on crying now and I just can't make it stop.This indescribable pain in my chest just won't stop."Since I...Since I broke my daughter.Since I lost my son and since I lost my father."I cover my mouth trying to stifle the loud and agonizing paining noises I'm making.I can feel my breathe quicken and I start patting my chest as the monitor in the corner slowly starts beeping quicker and quicker.

Hardin moves Emery and I over and sits behind us, as I lay my head on his chest, with Emery laying on my chest.We used to do this when Emery was a baby, except now Emery is 14 and that's when it hits me.Life is too short, my babies are growing up and I have no time to be fighting with them over this.Hardin strokes my hair and rubs Emery's knee."You're gonna be okay Tessa okay?I'm here and I'm never leaving you."He whispers into my ear.

I let out a long breathe as I try to control my sobs."I broke our family."

"T-Tessa."

"I...I did I broke our family and I'm so sorry Hardin."I sob into his chest a little louder.

"Mommy?"I hear a voice and a weight get lifted off of my knees.Emery is facing us with tired eyes and crazy hair.She scratches her head and nods."What's going on?"

I let out a laugh and so does Hardin."Nothing just come here."I gesture her to come closer and she reluctantly does.She lays between Hardin and I and we hold her leaning our heads on her forehead."You're being really weird."Emery voices.

"No.No were not.We just love you."I mumble into her hair.My eyes meet Hardin's and he is staring at me with tears in his eyes.

"We love you more than anything Emery Scott, you hear us?"Hardin whispers into her ear.

"Yea we do..."I take a deep breathe trying not to cry once again.I tighten my grip around her."And we are never going to make you feel the way we did ever again."

"How do I know?"

"What?"I ask.

"How do I know that you won't hurt me again?How do I know you won't make me feel the way you did?"

"Emery.We know we messed up okay?We know baby but we are going to make it up to you."I croak at her.

"Anything you want."Hardin finishes for me before kissing her head.

"I want my parents..."She begins."I want my brother and I want Caleb."

"Wait Caleb?"Hardin stands up straighter and I glare at him shoving his shoulder.

"Shut up."I call at him.

"I want Addy and I want my friends and I want to cheer."She stands up straight and tucks a piece of her blond, pink hair behind her ear."I want to not remember what they put me through in that asylum and I want to not remember being hit the way I was.I just want to be normal again.Be happy.Be the Emery everyone knows and loves not who I am now.Being broken...fucking sucks."She waits for a little while but we have nothing to say.My mouth is agape and Hardin is just as well."Excuse my language."

I finally muster up courage and lean over to her."Then come home."I take her hands in mind and she sucks in a sharp breathe."Come home and we'll make everything right okay?Just please.Come home."

"I want too.I really want too."A smile breaks to my face but it fades as the tears brim into her eyes."But I can't."

"What?"

"I can't because every time I see you,I see everything that is messed up and wrong in my life and as much as I want to get over it,I don't think I ever can."She gets up and rubs her hands on her legs."I love you and thank you for apologizing but I...I need to go, please."

She begins walking out the door but I stop her this time before she can go all the way out the door."Emery, please just call us and remember that we love you."

"I will Mom and I love you."With that she leaves but I know she'll be back.She has to be back.