Chapter 25

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    "I don't know if you remember but about three years ago my mom passed away." Nicole started and turned her head back to face Gray.
    Gray nodded, "Breast cancer. I remember your tattoos." Gray said pointing towards Nicole's chest. The tattoo's were visible because of the tank top.
    Nicole smiled slightly then continued, "All of us kids were closer with our mom than our dad." Nicole paused anticipating Gray's question.
    Gray simply asked, "All of us kids?"
    "Obviously you've met Rachel. We also had a brother and my best friend who was considered another sister." Nicole answered.
    Given the way Nicole worded her response Gray remained silent. She had a horrible feeling about where this was going.
    Nicole noticed Gray wasn't going to say anything so she continued, "Our dad is a kiss ass ladder climber in the MFD. He's a complete asshole so after mom was gone my firehouse became my only family, besides Rachel of course."
    Gray just nodded and smiled hoping to encourage Nicole to continue.
    "My brother Mike and my best friend Leslie were on squad with me so it as easy to think of the firehouse as my family. Luckily our battalion chief was willing to overlook the fact that Mike was my lieutenant." Nicole said with a sad smile. "It helped that our squad was the best in the city. We proved it at charity competitions the MFD would hold, not to mention our responses on scene."
    "Well I've seen you in action so I can imagine." Gray said encouragingly.
    "It was a great few years with them on squad." She smiled slightly then sighed. "But that's not exactly what I wanted to tell you."
    Gray remained silent. Nicole walked closer to the window so she couldn't see Gray. She wasn't sure if she could get this story out but she knew her best shot would be by avoiding looking at Gray.
    As Nicole stared out the window she continued, "The day I left your apartment I couldn't seem to get you out of my head the whole day. After putting Tyler to bed I raced home so I could talk to Leslie, who was also my roommate, about you but she wasn't home. She had left me a note saying she had met someone over the weekend and was having a sleepover but I figured we'd find time to talk during our shift the next day."
    Nicole took a couple of shaky breaths before continuing, "When I got to work the next morning Leslie wasn't there yet. I just started my day with helping my brother check the rig but when we were done Leslie still hadn't showed. I called her but she didn't answer. Over the next fifteen or twenty minutes I tried to call her a couple more times and still couldn't get a hold of her. I was starting to get worried because Leslie was the type of person who was habitually early for everything." Nicole quickly said as she continued to stare out the window. She tried to shut everything around her out, she just needed to get this story out.
    Nicole gave no indication that she noticed Rafferty and Mathis had entered the room. Gray on the other hand noticed and immediately put her finger to her lips so they would hopefully be quiet. Gray wasn't sure if Nicole wanted them there but figured Nicole would say something if their presence was a problem.
    Nicole continued, "A few minutes after our shift officially started we got a call of a jumper on the Horn Bridge which was unfortunately a common call for our house given our location in the city. We were told in route there were two people in the water." Nicole said then stopped and took a couple deep breaths to fight the emotions that were threatening to surface.
    "My brother and I were the best divers on our squad so when we got on scene we suited up and went into Lake Michigan. Unfortunately it turned out to be a recovery for both people in the water, no chance of rescue. My brother pulled the male DOA to shore. I pulled the female DOA to shore." Nicole said and couldn't contain her tears any longer. In a weak voice she added, "It was Leslie."
    Gray couldn't help herself, she quietly asked, "Oh my god, what happened?"
    Nicole didn't move, as if she was on auto pilot she continued, "From what the cops could gather from witnesses Leslie had pulled over when she saw a man standing on the outside of the guard rail on the bridge. She apparently tried to talk him down. According to a witness whatever she said seemed to work because he turned back towards the bridge. When she tried to help him back over the guard rail he slipped sending them both off the bridge and into the lake."
    Gray could hear the pain in Nicole's voice but she didn't know what to say. Everything that popped into her head sounded cliche or impersonal.
    "She had a wound on her head and the police officers found evidence that she hit her head on the bridge when she got pulled over the guard rail. She probably never had a chance to save herself." After she said that Nicole took a few moments to compose herself before she continued, "When we got back to the house there was already a relief squad crew there and we were sent home. I went home with Mike cause I couldn't face the apartment Leslie and I shared."
    Gray nodded and relaxed in her chair awaiting Nicole to continue.
    "We were offered a few shifts off but none of us took them. We all felt being together at work was the best way to honor Leslie. But if we only knew what the next shift would bring we probably would have taken the offered time off." Nicole said sadly but kept going. "Half way through the next shift we responded to an apartment fire. It didn't look too bad as we approached so squad and truck went in to search the units, the fire was similar to the one we responded to which led me to be here." Nicole couldn't help but pause for a moment. She knew her pauses may seem dramatic to some but she hoped Gray and Rafferty, who she had seen come in with Mathis in the reflection of the window, would understand this was just tough for her to tell. "Truck took the upstairs apartments and squad took the lower ones. My brother and two guys took one side so I was on the other side with the other guys. We quickly cleared our side and were gonna check on the other side but we got the call to clear out before we could. Everyone replied they were on their way out. Once me and my guys were out we went by the rig and waited for my brother and his guys. Guys from truck came pouring out of the building but our guys weren't with him. I called over the radio to my brother and he answered, 'Just found a kid, we'll be there in a sec sis.' But..." Nicole's voice caught in her throat. She dropped her head and her shoulders started to shake.
    Gray looked up at Mathis who nodded towards Nicole. Gray got up and went over to Nicole. She carefully put her arm around Nicole, not sure how the brunette would react.
    It took Nicole a bit to compose herself. She didn't shy away from Gray's contact but she didn't lean into the contact either. Finally she spoke, "We lost all three of them that day plus the child they found."
    After saying that Gray felt Nicole weaken a bit, "Why don't you take a seat Nicole?"
    Nicole nodded and backed up to the chair she had been sitting in earlier. Without turning around she said, "No need to hide or escape you guys. I know you're here Mathis and Rafferty."
    "How'd you know?" Rafferty asked. "You've been looking out the window the whole time we've been here."
    Nicole turned, "I could see your reflection in the window."
    Rafferty quickly answered, "I'm sorry Davin, I didn't mean to intrude."
    "No need to be sorry Rafferty. We've had our issues but I'm glad you were here to hear all of that." Nicole admitted. "Plus I knew you were here before I started talking. If I wanted you out all I had to do was tell you to get out."
    He walked over to Nicole and sat in the chair Gray had vacated, "I lost one of my best friends in a fire a couple years ago. I know how tough it was for me to process that loss. I can't even imagine what you have gone through and what you're still going through. Just remember you now have a family at 51 who are here for you, no matter what."
    "I appreciate that Rafferty but I don't want anyone's pity." Nicole replied.
    Rafferty nodded, "I get that. But you've already earned respect from the guys between how you dealt with Driver then how you've performed since then. Plus I don't think any of the guys have to balls to pity you, I know I don't!"
    "I'm with Rafferty, I don't have to balls to pity you either." Gray said with a smile then added, "If anything I envy your strength."
    Nicole couldn't help butt laugh, "Thanks guys."
    Rafferty nodded and stood, "Well now that Mathis and I know where Gray is I think it's time for us to head out." He turned back towards Gray and said, "Let me know if you want me to stop by later."
    Gray smiled at her best friend, "I'll text you later Raff."
    He smiled and walked towards the door, nodding at Mathis as he passed her.
    Mathis took the hint and said, "I'll be around later to check on you ladies."
    "Bye guys." Gray said with a wave.
    Nicole smiled at the pair, "Thank you guys for stopping by."

    Nicole and Gray remained silent for a long while after their friends left. Neither woman really knew what to say.
    After about five minutes Nicole finally broke the silence, "I know that was a lot to lay on you all at once Gray, especially after what you told me about your own experiences. But honestly it's hard for me to talk about so when I do talk about the week it just comes out all at once."
    "I'm glad you told me Nicole." Gray said quietly. She was hesitant to speak up because she wasn't sure what Nicole might say now that they were alone again.
    Nicole kept talking seemingly not having heard Gray, "I know I should probably talk about one person at a time. It would probably be easier for other people to handle emotionally!"
    "Nicole!" Gray said more loudly causing Nicole to turn her head towards Gray, so she continued, "I'm glad you told me. Thank you for sharing that with me especially because I can tell it was hard for you."
    Nicole didn't know what to say so she just nodded and smiled slightly. Then she said, "I guess I feel bad that I made you and Rafferty cry."
    "You have no reason to feel bad Nicole." Gray said as she shook her head. "I can't imagine anyone hearing what you went through and not tearing up. Especially anyone in our line of work."
    "I guess." Nicole said with a shrug. "The only other people I've talked to about that week that didn't live it have been Mathis and Bailey."
    Gray wasn't sure what to say. She was saved from coming up with something to say when Nicole continued, "I'll admit I'm confused because I don't normally trust easily but I feel like I can trust you Gray and that honestly scares me a bit."
    "I appreciate knowing that." Gray replied with a smile.
    "So where do we go from here?" Nicole asked.
    Gray thought for a moment and said, "Well here's how I look at us after everything we've shared today. We met that night at the club and had a great time together. Since then, in different ways we've gone through situations that were our own personal hells. Now we're on the other side of that and we're in the same place at the same time again." Gray explained, "I'd like to take this second chance and get to know you. I have no expectations of anything beyond a possible friendship but I won't rule anything out. I can't predict anything I just know that I want to get to know you better Nicole."
    Nicole smiled, "I'd like to get to know you too Amber."
    "Good." Gray said with a huge smile.
    "I can't think of a better thing to do during our forced time off." Nicole said matching Gray's smile.

                                                THE END

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