In September of the year of 2017-2018 from the ages of 11-12, i failed standard 5 and i was to repeat my class. And i remember how completely broken, worthless, dumb and ugly i felt. And even tho i was completely dying inside with profound sadness, embarrassment and shame, i still smiled on the out side. Back then, i had a negative and horrible mindset towards everything. No one understood me, some of the teachers hated me and the principal disliked me. Then because i was so closed off, i started to have bad thoughts about myself as if my inner voice was reading it out loud in my mind. these were my thoughts i heard:" no one cares about me", " my family probably hates me" and " i'm a dunce"etc. And these were the thoughts i continue to have throughout the entire school year. and knowing that my father wasn't there to see me grow up, and be there in my life, that just made me feel worse than before.
And knowing the negative bad-tempered person i was, i wouldn't let bullying and criticism get to me at all. One the first day of school like always, me and my brother went to school together. he was in standard 3 { in the lower division}. And i was in the upper division. when i arrived at the front gate, i took a deep breath and walked in with my head up with a fake smile on my face. as i entered my class, i saw new students looking at me like i'm crazy. i knew they were making fun of me because i felt it in my gut. i had a blue Jansport school bag my dad bought for me along with a cute black school shoes, white socks and of course, my red uniform dress and my white uniform blouse.
when the bell rang, we were seated in our chairs in class. Our class was very huge and had a lot of space in it. And once again, i got in arguments with my classmates. i remember a time in class i was sitting in my group, and one of my classmate who was a female teased me about my sister. Now she made a horrible mistake teasing my sister. i Got angry that i almost split her face in half. but then i be bigger one and report to my teacher about the incident between me and my classmate. my teacher scold her and she apologized to me. one day at school for break, a girl came from nowhere and slapped me and run off. I immediately ran after her and slapped her back same time, the teacher saw me and the bell rang. she slapped me again and i slapped her harder and then without thinking again, i cursed her and my teacher heard me. now instead she came and ask what happened, she came and grabbed me and then shoved me in class while the girl who slapped me was laughing at me. on that same day in the afternoon, i told my mom and she called the teacher and i explained to her how it happened and i admit to her i was wrong about cursing. my days in standard 5 was between good and bad. i came in 15th and i was promoted to standard 6.
YOU ARE READING
An autobiography of my life
Non-FictionMy book is about all the things that I experienced while I was in pre-school, primary school, highschool and the memories I have of them.
