beauty from pain | R.H

| chapter eight |

Our laughter settled down after Rosalie's story about Emmett thinking the color of his shirt was a dark white when it was actually gray. "I can't wait for you to get to know them better," my blonde goddess giggled sweetly.

Taking Rose's hand, I just smiled at her. "So this is modern 'dating'?" I question as she nods with a happy expression. "I admit that when Eva gave me her romantic books to read, I was doubtful. This is nothing like I remember from when I was human".

Rosalie nodded thoughtfully. "I remember when I was being courted by Royce-" I held her hand tighter, knowing it was a sore subject for her. My hand grew a little warmer thinking about the evil human she was to be wed to.

"-but that was nothing compared to the way you courted me" My smile couldn't have grown any wider if I tried. This was precisely what Henry and Juliette explained having a mate felt like "As much as it pains me to ask, were you ever courted?".

I shook my head with a bemused smirk when I saw jealously flash in her eyes. My Rose definitely had a mean green streak in her, something I knew would only get worse if poked at. She was protective of what was hers.

"Non, I had too many responsibilities to my...family. I was too busy to even think about being courted or finding myself a husband to settle down with" I choked out the word 'family,' but I don't think my love noticed.

We've talked a lot about her family and past, but I never tried to bring up my old life. I just wanted to know everything I could about her, especially when I thought of courting gifts.

But Rose was persistent in her wanting to know my life too. "What was your life like back then? I know we were alive around the same time, and it's amazing to think my soulmate was in France while I was living in New York".

I gently retracted my hand from her while I tried to keep my emotions down. There was no way I could distract her from the conversation this time. It was time to let her know about me, maybe not entirely but enough to keep her happy.

"My father Marcel was a carpenter, my mother Catherine was a homemaker, and I had 3 siblings. Two brothers, Michael and Nicholas, and a sister, Marie. I was the oldest out of all of them" Rosalie's adoring smile grew when I began speaking as if she were in awe of my opening up.

"I had two little brothers too," She told me, grimacing in remembrance. "I didn't do much with them back then, but if I knew then what I know now, I would have adored them so much more."

A beat passed before I continued, "As you know, it was the time of the great depression" Rose nodded sadly, "my father got sick from pneumonia, and we didn't have money to send for a doctor."

Playing with my fingers, I fidgeted while my soulmate listened intently. "I started stealing and hunting just to put food on the table for my family. I always looked after her little siblings too while my mère went out looking for work".

I knew Rosalie was from a wealthy family and back then wouldn't have understood my plight and how much weight was put on my shoulders as only a child myself, but I didn't blame her.

"They wouldn't have survived without me. I was always there to feed them, protect them and keep them warm in the winter times. My siblings and I would always be in our puppy pile, as my mère would call it," venom bit the inside of my eyes.

"When I was turned, I was attacked, and a vampire stumbled across my dying body. They bit me and left me to fend for myself. I was burning for what seemed like forever" Rose's eye flickered to the small flame in my hand in awe.

"What happened to your family?" a small sob left my body as my human side overtook for a moment while venom tears cascaded down my pale cheeks remembering that terrible day.

"They were murdered," I stated truthfully; they were murdered, but not by an unknown person. They were killed by the one person they trusted the most – me.

"I should have protected them. I didn't protect them!" I cried out as the candles grew hotter, as my emotions began to go wild "it was my job to keep them safe, and I...".

Rosalie quickly stood from her chair when I got up to stumble away "it's not your fault!" she told me as I avoided her hands when they tried to grab at my arms.

"Non! You don't understand," I sobbed, remembering the horror in my sister's eyes when I stuck my fangs into her neck, the horrified look in my brother's eyes as they cuddled together for protection.

My mate held onto me as my screams came out louder and more panicked. I'd avoided this conversation for a long time; not even Henry could get me to talk about it.

"Don't, please don't," I warned Rose as she gripped me tighter. I felt myself losing control, but instead of doing as I asked, she did the opposite. "I said don't!" I yelled, pulling her hand away from me with my own.

A pained scream erupted from my love's throat as she dropped to the floor. My cries quickly stopped when I saw the burnt state of her hands.

I burned her.

My soulmate.

My vampire soulmate who could be destroyed by fire.

"Geneviève, it's okay. It was an accident," She called weakly, slowly standing from the floor as she tried to comfort me, but I felt nothing but disgust for myself. First, my family, and now I nearly killed my soulmate.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered before turning and running. Maybe this is a sign for me. I was dangerous and didn't warrant happiness after what I did to my family.

I wonder if this was one of the many outcomes that Alice had envisioned our date would go. I only wish she had told me that it had been an option. I would have never taken Rosalie on this 'date.'

All I know is that I am a monster who didn't deserve Rosalie Hale.