Holidays are a blessing in a student's life but one bad thing about them is that they end so quickly. In a blink of an eye.
The only thing that bugged me throughout the holidays was Kev. He was behaving oddly. Every time we hung out together he didn't have the energy I have seen in him.
He was not talking much. He stayed quiet. When I worked on my numericals he stared at me. His behaviour concerned me. And even asking a thousand times I got no reply from him. According to him he needed to understand everything himself.
"I keep having scary thoughts Kev," I told him, scooting a bit closer to him holding his hands in mine.
"Scary thoughts like?" He overlapped his one hand over mine and now my both hands were in his.
"Like you're gonna move somewhere or leave or I don't know. Don't make me say those things," I was near to crying and I wasn't afraid to show it to him.
"That's not gonna happen. I won't ever leave you. How could I Ly? When you wished for me to help you out with your shoelaces forever?"
I hit Kev on his chest. He deserved it. How could he be joking when my tears are about to roll down? Kev laughed and engulfed me in his arms even though I kept hitting him.
"Ly I promise I will tell you soon," I held onto him now, my head resting over his shoulder.
My train of thoughts were broken as I heard my father calling for me. He had taken a day off from his office.
"Yup," I found him in his room getting ready to go out. We were having lunch outside. It had been ages since we ate out alone. He was busy with his work while I was busy with my studies. It always felt good to have a lunch date with my father. "I see why mom fell for you,"
Instead of laughing he smirked. Mom's death seemed to add a lot more years to his age. He might be getting old but he still got his looks. My father had blue eyes. Sky Blue, but I didn't get that from him. There were three things I got from mom. First, my hazel eyes. Second, my smile and third, the twin moles beside my right eyebrow.
My father always told me that whenever he looked in my eyes he would remember mom. He always mentioned that I was the best gift my mom could give him.
"Dad, do you think mom would be happy to see me?"
"Of Course. You have grown into such a beautiful girl inside and out. Alaina would be overjoyed," My dad ruffled my hair. It was one of his habits to show love for me. "Now, my pretty daughter I am quite hungry so let's not be late,"
I nodded, smiling at him in the process and he stared at me for a few seconds then nodded back. I knew exactly what he was thinking.
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O
ur father daughter date expanded and after lunch we went shopping. For both of us. We wasted more time than buying things but I enjoyed all those moments with dad. We stopped by at a little festival going in the town. Then we both aimlessly walked through the roads telling each other about almost everything. One thing that I deliberately left out to tell him was the growing confusion about Kevin.
These kinds of feelings are sorted out by the person who was feeling it and I was going to do it. It was midnight when we both returned home. It was the second last day of our holidays and it was the day I had enjoyed the most.
Dad's sudden laughter made me furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "Someone's waiting for you," He gestured with his eyebrows and I looked outside the windscreen of the car.
Sure enough there was a lone figure sitting on my swing. He was slightly swinging, staring down at the ground.
Exiting the car I tiptoed towards him planning to surprise him but all my plans failed when he raised his head at the very last moment. The smile that spread on his face seeing me was contagious and soon enough I was smiling back at him.
"Roles reversed?" This time I leaned against the metal pole of the swing set gazing down at Kev.
"One thing's not changed," He pointed towards my feet and I didn't have to look down to know what it was. My darned shoelaces. "Why don't you switch to canvas?"
'Converse are my love," I replied crouching down to try tying my laces but Kev hands covered mine taking the laces in his fingers and tying them. "Your hands are too cold,"
I held onto his hands, rubbing them so they could warm a little. He let me continue it as I warmed my hands with my breath and rubbed them over his hands.
I stopped when I felt the warmness seep back into his hands. I was about to let go but he held my hand helping me to stand up as he did the same. Our shoulders were brushing each other and not even the thick layers of clothing could stop the one question I had in my mind for ages now. Did I really love him?
"You know what I realised," There was something in his tone that made me snap my attention towards him. He had his eyes glazed above him over the dark sky.
"What?" I questioned trying to look for whatever he was looking up at in the sky but I saw nothing except for the moon and stars. The moon was in its first quarter but it still looked as pretty as the full moon did. There was something beautiful about the quarters of the moon that no one talked about.
"That a single hug is enough to make you fall in love...and you gave me more than that. Blakely Rosenheim I like you. I really really like you. No, it's past that actually. I love you,"
So this is what it feels like to have your heart drop to your stomach! To have forgotten to breathe or to move. To have goosebumps on your arms but not because of the cold. This was unexpected. How could Kev be confessing when I was the one thinking about it for days? Kev loved me? Since when? How? There were a hundred, no- thousand of questions in my mind but my tongue was tied.
"Kev," I tried to speak but for the first time I was unable to say anything in front of Kevin.
"Ly listen to me. I am not telling you this because I want you to think about me and then instantly develop feelings for me. I will sound selfish but I am telling you this because I don't want to remember myself as a coward who was afraid to confess his feelings," He stopped to take a deep breath. All the while he spoke I stared at him. There was nothing else I could do. I didn't even remember when I focused back on him when I was staring at the moon. "Call me dumb for not realizing it before. All this while I had been in love with you but I kept calling you my best friend. Thank God I realised this before I had regretted you leaving me,"
He held my shoulders and peered into my eyes and I had no chance but to look in those brown eyes. The sun was not up in the sky but I still saw the golden in his eyes. My favourite eye colour...The colour that had always attracted me. The colour that was still attracting me.
"It's my heart and it decided to beat for you but I don't urgently need an answer Ly. You have the choice to love on your own, to choose on your own. It's your heart. It's up to you to decide for whoever it beats. If in the future it starts to beat for me, just let me know or even if it doesn't, still let me know"
Kev was right. It decides to beat on its own. I can not control it. Never. But little did you know Kev... It decided to beat on its own and since I harboured a crush on Owen it was beating for him.
But little do you know Kev... My heart would never beat for you!
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