As I stood beside Maya I quickly casted a glance at my watch. There were still a few minutes for the first bell to ring. Maya nudged me from her shoulder wiggling her eyebrows at me. I gave her a bored look focusing on Kev. He was busy talking to Daris and Joshua, one of their teammates. I waited for him to finish talking but in the middle of his conversation he casually entwined his hand with mine. His attention wasn’t even a bit diverted from his conversation and I wondered if he knew whose hand he had even grabbed.
Of Course he would. It’s not the first time he had held your hand!
The voice in my brain replied to me and I mentally groaned. Out of the both, I was the stupid one. The sound of the bell hit our ears and students started to run towards the classes. Kev also wrapped his conversation and turned towards me. We had English in our first period so all four of us walked together.
“So you are not jealous that I was talking to my crush?” I bit my lip to control my smile. Teasing him was fun but a second later I fell in a thought. Why did I even ask him this question?
“No,” He shook his head, throwing me a glance. I noted how Daris and Maya were in their own world.
I was a little shocked but I nudged him in his side. He had replied so fast and fast reactions are often lies. “You don't have to lie to me Kev,”
“Yeah! I know that. That's why I'm telling you I'm not jealous. Why would I be?”
“Because…” I trailed off not knowing what to say. He loved me, he had himself said so then why I shouldn’t quote it? “Because you love me?”
Kev checked inside the class before focusing back on me. We were standing outside the class and students swarmed from beside us. “Ly, I like you doesn't mean I own you. ‘Me loving you’ are my feelings and why do they have to get involved in your life?”
How often does this happen now? That I become speechless in front of him. I knew Kev for so long but I had never known he had a side like this. It was because we never talked about it. We never talked about love. I never thought he'd fall for me. Experiencing Kev ‘in-love’ phase was different, especially when he was in love with me. I knew Kev, who was my friend and he had everything one looks in a best friend. But I didn’t know Kev, the lover and he was gentle, he was sweet. He was understanding as understanding a companion could be. I never knew Kevin Wilder's thought process as a lover would be like this. Kev just didn’t know how to love but he knew how to make someone feel loved, secured and comforted.
It was his snap in front of my face that brought me out of my reverie. I had to blink furiously a couple of times to think what I had to say but all that came out was a bunch of words uttered together. “Don't boys get jealous? Like you know, like… like-” I fell short. I had no idea how to continue.
“I know,” He said, followed by a small laugh. “Boys get jealous seeing the girl they like or love talk to any other boy, laugh with another boy but they need to realise that liking the girl is their own choice. They weren't forced to love the girl so they can not force their feelings on them. You talk to Owen or anyone else, I really won't feel jealous because one, it's your life. You do what you want to do and second is gonna sound a little selfish but you have talked to me way more than you will talk to them,”
To say I was impressed was an understatement. Who knows, in the long term I really fall for him. “You sure know how to talk,”
Kev proudly shrugged. “I also know how to charm the girl I like,”
“And someone was talking about not forcing their feelings,” I shook my head in a mocking manner. I glanced down at my wrist watch. There were only a few minutes left so I pulled Kev along with me inside class.
“I can use my charms. If you fall in love with me after looking at my charms then that's not forcing,” He whispered. Somehow I noticed the gaze of girls that trailed after Kev and unconsciously my grip tightened on his hand.
“Your charms. I know about them too,” My own lip curled into a smirk as we both sat down at the second last bench with Maya and Daris in front of us. “Eating a mouthful of chips, not washing the utensils you use, crying while watching-” He pulled his hand out of my grip and kept it over my mouth, muffling my words into incoherent speech.
He pleaded with his eyes asking me to shut up. “Good friends keep secrets, you know. Stop licking my hand,” He groaned as he removed his hand which was now covered in my saliva. He wiped his hand with my hair, messing my hair in the process.
I was about to retort back but our English teacher entered the class slamming down his books on the table quieting us all. I was zoned out from whatever the teacher was saying. All I could hear in my mind was Kev’s voice. I stared at him as my mind played and replayed his words. He was busy jotting down whatever the teacher was saying. I was not concerned that I was zoned out. Kev would tell me.
Everyone thinks that loving someone and making them feel loved is the same thing. It might be but for me. They are different.
Loving someone means to shower your love on the other person by showing that you care for that person, you are happy when you see them and there’s more.
Making someone feel loved is different. It also includes loving someone but it's also about making the other person love themselves and accept their flaws. It’s about telling the other person how they feel but making it as considerate as possible. Defining the way I feel about it is not possible. One thing that I know for sure is that making someone feel loved could result in other developing feelings for them.
So it was possible that I, Blakely Frank Rosenheim, might fall for her best friend.
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