Sometimes he loves me

Chapter 15

EMMA

"Emma, ​​are you having a panic attack?" I hear his calm voice, but I can't answer. My uncontrollable breathing won't allow me. I nod while still hugging his chest. I press my shaking hand to my throat and close my eyes, trying to breathe slowly.

"It's okay, I'm here darling." I feel the floor disappear beneath me. "Come on, you have to lie down." He whispers as he carries me to my bed. My body automatically responds to the soothing hum of his voice as he lays me down. I feel him lean over me and suddenly feel a fresh breeze slipping through my window into my room.

"Breathe in slowly." He continues and I hear him right next to me again. There is something about his calm but demanding voice, so I do as he says and after a few quivering breaths I feel my heart rate slowing down.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks after a while.
I do. Just to be sure, I keep my eyes closed. Afraid the room will spin again, so I just nod.

"Can I ask you something?"

I nod again and prepare for a sermon on Vincent, just like yesterday. Until now I had completely forgotten the fight between me and this guy.

"Why do you always hold your chain when you're nervous or have a panic attack?" He asks, making me feel exposed when I realise I'm doing that exact thing right now. But I also feel calm enough to laugh softly at his question. It feels like he somehow managed to take away my worries about Vincent and our night. He makes me not want to care that I don't really know him, because he makes it feel like I do.

"This necklace is- it helps me through my panic attacks." I explain. When I feel sure I won't get dizzy anymore, I open my eyes, curious about what he's doing and see him sitting on the floor next to my bed, watching me. His dark eyes are still as familiar as ever.

"How did you get it?" He asks, his eyes brimming with curiosity.

"It was a gift from- someone, for my 11th birthday." The words roll over my lips before I know it. Why am I telling him this?

"From a friend?"

I laugh softly again. "He was more like a brother, but he was also like a best friend, although he probably saw me as an annoying little sister since I was five years younger." I smile at the thought.

"I doubt anyone could find you annoying, darling."

"You just say that to be polite." I counter.

"I never say things I don't mean."

We look at each other in silence for a couple of seconds when he finally asks, "So what happened between the two of you?"

Why is he so interested in me? I can't imagine anything I say is of interest to him.

I look at the pendant on my chain. "It all just stopped one day." I'm not going to tell him about how Finn and his whole family just vanished one day.

"Do you miss him?" He asks softly. When I look up at him again, his dark eyes hold mine like a magnet. He looks at me with a strange look in his eyes. Like I could tear his heart apart at any moment.

"Every day." I whisper before I can stop myself. What is it with those honest answers when I talk to him? It's none of his business that I miss Finn. My heart breaks a little when I think of him.

"Can I ask you something now?" I say to move on quickly. I don't want to talk about Finn anymore.
When I look at him, I see a hidden emotion in his eyes. Frustration? Is he frustrated because I miss Finn? He can't be jealous can he? We hardly know each other.