Yes, Miss?

CHAPTER 7

THE SAME DAY, 10:23AM

Melissa brings me into her classroom and sits on her chair, her legs under her chin. I take up most of her desk as I sit in the middle. 

'You okay?' She looks at me with her fluorescent eyes. 

I nod sadly, burying my head in my hands. 

'I think I'm just gonna go home' I mumble.

Sitting up, I slip off the desk and reach for my bag. The blonde leans down and gets it for me, putting it down next to her. She puts her arms out and tilts her head sweetly. Walking forwards I relax myself into her embrace, holding back tears. We just stand for a minute, together. She releases me and hands me my bag, looking up at me sympathetically.

'Thank you, Melissa. I appreciate you.'

I leave her classroom after she gives me an affectionate goodbye and waves at me. 

Walking through the empty corridors feels like a dream, all I can hear are my footsteps and the rustling of my bag. Getting to the office, Mrs Turner is sat in her usual chair. I clear my throat alerting her of my presence. She spins around and her face lights up at the sight of me.

'Hello Rimbles, you okay sugar?' She whistles

'Yeah, just not feeling well, Mrs Turner, can I please go home? My mum's working but I have my car.' I stutter 

'Of course, let me note that down and I'll buzz you through the door.'

'Thank you.' I give her a small smile and walk out, into the fresh air.

I stand for a minute, taking a deep breath into my lungs, remembering I'm still here, still living. I hold this breath for a while, until I'm spluttering, just to be sure. My car sits in its usual spot, I slide the key into the door and pull it open, throwing my bag in first, then myself. The car park is never full when I leave school, so it takes a while to manoeuvre out of the area. When I'm on the road, I blast a song I go back to in my sorrowful times.

For the first time, Mac Demarco

The music is so loud, thankfully it's all I can focus on. It drags all the other thoughts in my head to the deep dark space, saving them for later. The lyrics pull my mind away from todays events. I just need to curl up in my bed and never leave. At least until tomorrow. 

I pull up onto my driveway and sift through my bag, feeling around for my keys.

Not today, Not today, Not today.

I groan and drop my bag at my feet, running my fingers through my hair. No keys. Mum's at work too. What the fuck do I do now? 

I just stand for a second, wondering if my bedroom window is too high to climb up. As I'm about to scale the wall like spider-man, the rocks on my driveway crunch loudly and I spin round to see my mum standing there with a bag on her wrist from the corner shop.

'Oh Mumma, thank god' I run to her and just collapse in her arms as she drops the shopping on the floor. 

She hugs me awkwardly, slightly concerned, then pushes me off to get the bag and fish her keys out. She unlocks the door and I run upstairs without an explanation, ripping my clothes off and jumping in the shower. I turn it to the highest heat and sear my skin, hoping to burn the lingering feeling of her touch off of my body. It doesn't feel like enough. I splash the water all over my face, into my mouth, it burns my tongue. I soak my sponge in soap and drag it over every inch of my body, once the first layer is done, I do it again and again, scrubbing harder each time. Finally feeling content with myself, I get out of the shower and into a towel. Walking to my room I look at my body in the mirror. I'm bright red, sore to the touch. I still don't feel 100%. I dry myself off, put moisturiser on and slide into my bed, surrounded by comforting soft toys and blankets. I sit and stare at the ceiling for a while, zoning out. I feel my eyes closing as I drift to sleep.