your heart breaks forevermore

Goodbye

a barren wasteland

A smattering of melancholy daydreams followed by nightmares in the evening, I swore I'd never be that girl.

Maintaining a semblance of fortitude albeit a falsity that never truly existed, how many ways can a heart be broken?

Whether it be the loss of love or life, an array of longing combined with the ever-present stain of past regrets; do you think it'll wash out?

There are so many others in this world who have it much worse, suffering in ways I could never even fathom-

And yet here I am, whining and crying about things that in the grand scheme are hardly even a dent...

....but dammit, I cannot control these dastardly emotions. (I am hurting and I am sorry.)

I grieve my past self and polish the new one, hoping she is fit to impress and elate while picking up the pieces and dusting the dirt off my scabby knees.

I never thought we'd have to say goodbye, at least not in the permanent sense that lasts a whole life;

I thought maybe just for a short time, while one of us runs to the store or heads into work for the day.

I am not interested in wrath, nor vengeance for my plights-

Instead I seek something else entirely, desperate for just a deep sigh of relief.

Oh, how I long to just breathe freely!