Don't Remind Me

Chapter 11: The Annual Nightmare

"BREAKING NEWS: Professor Ahmad Ghani is leaving his position as Management instructor at IBSA. It goes to show that most of his students are irked at the possible teacher change at the end of the semester, but they hope that the next teacher is someone more inclined towards relative grading. Who else hates U-curves?.... (Nitty Gritty, issue 702, Nov, 2014)

"Why is Hassan Shehryaar sketching on my IR course-book?" I popped in on Ruby, who was writing down grocery accounts. Hassan Shehryaar Yaseen (Or HSY) is one of Pakistan's best designers. He used to intern at Hayat's back when nobody knew his name. He still likes to hang out at our place occasionally, conferring with Mama over the future of fashion or something lofty of the sort. It's kind of crazy, but awe-inspiring, to imagine that contemporary dress styles for an entire country are being decided in our living room over Ruby's famous red velvet cookies.

"He needed paper urgently, and you're always leaving your books around, so serves you right..." She mutters back, pointing towards the kitchen, "Eat something substantial. Now."

I take a club sandwich to appease her. I love talking to Ruby. You hear all sorts of interesting things. I only have to raise an eyebrow at her to get her to spill details.

"You missed the Barbie parade today. Nadia needs botox. And Mawra needs personality..."

I stop nibbling at this information, "There was a Barbie parade? Why?"

"Sanam released her drawings earlier this year, online. They must have been better than last years' because, everyone seems eager to model them. They're courting her."

I can't believe I forgot that we have a nightmare coming up. A nightmare called Pakistan Fashion Week.

"Why does it happen every year Ruby? WHY?" I wailed in despair.

One of the biggest fashion events in the South Asian region, PFW is like the Cannes for Pakistani designers. Mama's team works overtime for months to put up a good enough show, our house becomes a reality TV episode with strange looking people running around pinning stuff on mannequins, and once, even on Chum Chum (that was the year one of Mama's producers had this brilliant idea of dressing up our cat for The Walk. Needless to say, it wasn't one of Chum Chum's finest TV moments.)

Why I hated all this you ask?

Because Mama tries to make all three of her children attend the opening and closing ceremonies. We're supposed to strut the red carpet, and participate in the commencement victory walk. We're supposed to do it with big smiles on our faces, and Mama's season designs on our bodies. Maria loves it because most years, she gets to wear something she made herself, and this is a chance for her to interact with other budding designers, who have fresher perspectives than veterans like my Mom. Zaif hasn't attended in a couple of years, because he has been busy with College (He is a senior at USC). I have no idea how Mama lets him get away with it. She doesn't even command him to return home from California anymore, for the past few years, he visits for a week occasionally, but rarely more than that.

And then there's me.

I hate dressing up.

I hate being pawed by Mama's hair-dressers and make-up artists, for pre-event primping.

I hate being in the limelight.

I hate cameras, and crowds.

The list goes on and on...

Over the years, I have come up with several creative reasons in order to skip this annual nightmare, but it never works. Mama always, ALWAYS finds loopholes in these excuses.