Don't Remind Me

Chapter 28: The Email and The Hot Sauce

"Is anyone else irked by this annoying economic trend observed in the cafeteria premises? 

The forced Bartery. 

If you buy anything that costs in multiples of 5, (e.g. a Lays Wavy costing Rs. 25) the cafeteria dude takes your Rs.50 note, hands back two twenties, and a five rupee packet of Chilli Milli/Softmints/ABC Jelly etc.) 

Excuse me, while I learn how to re-invent fire, and live in caves...I didn't realize we're still in the business of bartering for purchased goods.

(Even though we DO have five Rupee coins issued by the State Bank currently under circulation. JBTW)

What if I don't want a bleeping ABC jelly? What if I'm allergic to Softmints?

You don't give a shit about my feelings, do you? heartless cafeteria dude. 

Wait 'til my father hears about this. Filthy little Mudblood....-Nitty Gritty (Issue No: 1890, April 2017)

~18 months later~

"I can't open the email." Azaan mumbled through his fingers. His phone was clutched in his hands, sandwiched between the thumbs, like a weird prayer. 

"Then don't. When you don't respond to the Caltech people, they'll just pick someone more talented than you for the internship. And you will get that dream job you always wanted...behind the fryer at McDonald's." I suggested dryly. 

"How do you know my dream job was at McD's?" He muttered. "Imagine all those french fries, under my supreme power...I think all that gold, and riches will go to my head." 

"Open it dude. What's the worse that can happen? You'll be rejected again? so what? It'll mean that you get to stay around for the next two years. We can go traveling Balochistan again, after graduation. That'd be fun." Asad suggested. 

"I still can't open it." Azaan groaned. "You guys don't realize it. My life can change if I open this email. I think I want it to stay exactly like it is. For a few more days."

"Oh for Flub's sake. I'll open it." Faris snapped, reaching for Azaan's phone. Azaan swatted him away.

Shay visibly melted at Faris' censorship efforts. 

So much has changed in the past year and a half. 

Faris, Asadomer, and Azaan are graduating from IBSA in a month. 

Shay, Daniyal, Syra and I will be graduating next year from this place. 

It feels surreal to imagine real life after college. I'm unsure about it. Not meeting up with these weirdos everyday is going to depress me a lot. I am not even thinking about the possibility of Azaan winning the Caltech internship this year. Because that would mean not seeing him for quite a long while.

I'm so torn right now. I want him to achieve his dreams. I want him to get the fruit of his labor. But I also don't want him to go away. 

Selfish? Undoubtedly. 

Guilt? None. 

It's taken me a whole lot of courage, and introspection to come to terms with my feelings for my best friend. I'm not going to feel ashamed by something I have absolutely no control over. 

The heart wants what it wants. 

If I had any ideas about this feeling being a mere, "crush" then those ideas have long since disappeared. I love him like a friend, and more. It's as simple, and as complicated as that.