Don't Remind Me

Chapter 19: The Vigil

"No words.

I have no words to describe the anguish we're going through as a community. 16th December shall forever be remembered as a black day. A black day for students. A black day for teachers. And a black day for Pakistan. APS (Army Public School) Peshawar...We stand with you, at this hour devastation.

This issue is dedicated to the memory of all those who lost their lives fighting for their right to live, love, and laugh.

Never Forget." - (Nitty Gritty, Issue no 791, December '14)

Layla:

"He wants to talk to you Laylee." Ruby extends her mini iPad towards me. I wordlessly chewed on my toast before gulping down some coffee. Zaif thinks if he pesters every member of the family enough times, I will give up, and Skype with him. 

He thinks wrong.

"I'm late for The Vigil. Tell him to call me when he isn't on the Most Wanted shit-list." I lash out before grabbing a black dupatta (scarf) I had swiped from Mama's leftover trash in the design room. I ignored Ruby's entreating pleas, and muffled sounds coming from the Video Call. 

I'm not ready to talk to my brother. What he did, three years ago, goes against everything I believe in. No matter how well-intended, I cannot simply pretend that he didn't ruin all of our lives when he let his anger take control of his actions. In defending my honor (uninvited, may I add) he took himself away from us. I can't forgive him for that. At least not so soon. 

The situation of the entire country cannot be graver. For the past two days, we've been mourning for Peshawar. It seems fitting that our clothes reflect our moods. Our very aura is Black. Today, I was uncharacteristically desi in my plain dark Shalwar Kameez and a black Dupatta draped around my head like a veil. At the moment, colors just repel me. Red in particular, makes me anxious. 

After watching the live news coverage of the massacre for six hours straight, Ruby finally switched off the TV. My senses were numb with acute pain. I couldn't bear watching yet another refreshed head-count of dead children. A number which seemed to increase, appallingly, on an hourly basis. I couldn't bear watching yet another hysterical mother searching the casualty lists for her child's name. 

 Mama ordered a week long suspension of all business at her outlets, out of respect for the tragedy. The Pakistani flag was flying half-mast by order of the government. Since APS was an army-run school, supposedly secured and protected by the Pakistani Military, the Army was taking this attack very personally, and retaliating by intensifying armed operations against the Tehreek-e-Taliban Terrorist Groups in the northern parts of the country.  Everyone had an opinion on the Army's operations. At this point, the military was under intense internal pressure to fix the Taliban situation. The Government (scared of the outraged Plebeians) hurriedly went along with whatever liberties the Army demanded. After six years, the death moratorium was to be lifted on terrorism charges, which basically meant that we were speeding up the justice process by lopping off heads. And people were celebrating it.

"Hang the bastards," They said. "An eye for an eye,"...Social media was going berserk.

This is what terrorism reduces passive, law-abiding citizens to. It sharpens the blood lust. 

But it also united us, as a nation. For once, I didn't hear about ethnic politics, and ideological divides. For better or for worse, the death of those 144 children served as a painful unification factor. What does that say about us as a community though? It seems that two factors always cause us to unite together; Terrorism, and Cricket matches against India. Sad really.