The Days With No Sun

My Mother

My mom is the most beautiful woman. She's beautiful inside and out. She's beautiful because she's been through so much. She's beautiful because she helps everyone any way she can. Without money, without time, and without question... She always helps. My mother is my hero. She makes an effort to keep us warm and to keep us safe in our home. But today my mother was hurt. My uncle the cause and my sister the excuse. The drugs they took together and the lies they spilled to her my mother was hurt. Physically fighting with the two of them my mother was hurt. And me? Why I sat back and watched. Never knowing what to do or what to say trying to keep the other kids safe. I watched my mother get hurt. My boyfriend standing beside me trying to keep me from crying I watched the scene unravel to blows and shoves without any gloves I look back and asked God, "Why couldn't you have taken me when I tried to drown myself? Why do you want me to live this pain to watched others in pain-" and by God, MY MOTHER WAS HURT! I knew the truth and I knew the lies I sat back and looked to the skies constantly asking, "Why God Why?" If there is a God. There is no God. I know I asked I prayed to the holy spirit, I cried a sleepless night, I tried not to fight and I asked so many times, "Why didn't you take me when you had the chance? Why do you let my parents suffer in my existence?" My brothers and sister my aunts and uncles my cousins my grandparents my friends. All of them with no end never knowing when the next time ill want to end.

My mother was hurt. And it's because of me she can't sleep. It's because of me she didn't know the truth because I was afraid. I'm still afraid. I'm afraid of the way they will look at me my own family judging me. It was because of me my beautiful mother was hurt. And still, her beautiful soul will have to rot on this earth because there is no God. And this earth is an eternal hell. My mother was hurt. And God did nothing to prevent that. I did nothing to prevent that...