9: Elope

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I didn't realize that I kissed him back.

It just felt so natural. So real. I felt adrenaline coursing through my veins. I had never felt this way before. Then, I snapped back to my senses.

I pulled away and slapped him.

"I have a fiancé. And you're naked." I swam back to shore.

I got out of the water and stomped back up the hill.

What killed me the worst, was that I couldn't have more. I could never feel that again. If Jim saw us, I would be dead.

I put on a dry pair of clothes and sat down next to Jim by the dancing fire. He didn't smell like cologne anymore.

"Luther said you could be on watch with me tomorrow."

I smiled. At least something good came out of this.

Ryan sat down across the fire. I couldn't stop staring at him. The longing to kiss him again was so strong.

He stared back at me and smiled. I looked away.

We all ate dinner in silence. Debbi and Jeff ate in the nursery, like they do every night.

After dinner, Jim came into my tent. I was sharpening my arrows.

"I have to talk to you about something." He said as he sat down next to me.

I tensed up. I hope he didn't see Ryan and I.

"Yeah?" I said calmly.

"I think we should elope."

My heart sank.

"What's the point of waiting anyway?" He added.

I thought about some defense. "I guess you're right." I sighed.

"What's the matter?" He wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"I just feel like we should wait a little longer. After everything that's happened....." My voice drifted off.

"Well of course we aren't going to do it today. Just soon."

He kissed me on the forehead. I sighed.

There was no getting out of this.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." It hurt me so much to say that.

He slept in my tent that night. His arms wrapped around me. I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning, and Jim's arms didn't help my discomfort. I eventually had to get up and take a walk.

I paced around camp, thinking about the last week. So much had happened, so many spirits crushed, so many relationships formed.

I went down to the lake. It was cold and breezy. I shivered as a gust of wind washed over my body.

Then, I felt a blanket being draped around my shoulders.

I turned and expected to see Jim, but instead Ryan stood behind me, his blue eyes sparkling in the moon light.

I would've scolded him and told him he shouldn't have kissed me today or put that blanket on me, but I couldn't help it.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He kissed me back. His arms wrapped around my waist. My stress from the day disappeared. Happiness and excitement replaced it. The blanket fell off of my shoulders and Ryan's grip tightened on me, his body heat warming me.

We slowly pulled away.

"What happened to 'I have a fiancé.'" He chuckled.

"I'm really not sure." I answered.

We sat down on the sand next to each other, our arms brushing.

"I'm really sorry." I said. "I don't know what came over me."

"Don't apologize. I liked it." He smiled. I blushed.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Jim wants to elope."

"Whoa whoa whoa, so you are just going to dump him and get together with me? I'm not ok with that."

"I never said that! Nothing about you and I getting together, I just don't want to stay with Jim."

"Then why did you say yes in the first place?"

I sighed. "For a stupid reason."

I got up and walked back up to my tent. Jim was still sound asleep. I snuck back under his arms.

I still wanted more.

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