Chapter Five

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‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾  ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙

I didn't have much to pack.

Yesterday, I went back to my cabin to grab whatever I needed. I went in the dark, with Anastasia, since she apparently had night vision. Whatever that meant. What it did mean for me though was her grabbing my wrist and leading me along as I stumbled and tripped over foliage in the dark. It was embarrassing to say the least. Anastasia only snickered at me.

I had grabbed clothes, ranging for all types of weather because I hadn't asked Elda what the weather was like in Hiraeth, but I packed for snow and hot summer days. I went through Tellies closet and packed some of her clothes as well, knowing I'd need some sort of thing to remember her by. I even left a note on the dinner table, although I felt like it'd be a long while till someone actually read it.

I finished packing and then blew out all the candles, put away all the food that wouldn't rot, which wasn't much, and then locked all the windows. I didn't know how long I was going to be gone for, but I knew that even if I did come back from Hiraeth soon I probably wouldn't choose to come back to this cabin. It housed too many sour memories in my mind, too many lonely cold nights, where there was nothing but the howling wind and my heavy thoughts, sending away any shred of hope or happiness inside of me.

I shook my head, as if that was going to clear away the thoughts. I instead focused on the luggage underneath me. It really wasn't more than a sack, definitely not something I'd normally consider luggage. Elda told me I had to travel light and subtly. It wasn't exactly like I could lug around a briefcase on my way into Hiraeth.

Hiraeth. I tried not to think about what I was going into. It made my nerves feel frayed with energy as I pondered my choice. I didn't know what was going to happen to me. After I crossed the border, everything was up to fate. I'd be alone...in a magical world. A magical, fae, world. That's right, because fae exist. I felt my knees tremble and I folded myself onto the edge of the bed, my breathing heavy. I didn't have bad anxiety, but this trip certainly was causing a spike in it. I was so...scared. I had never felt this type of fear before. I was going to change my entire being, change who I was, everything I knew. I wouldn't be human anymore.

Tears pricked at my eyes and I sucked in a sharp breath, running a hand through my hair, my fingers trembling. What would Tellie think if she knew what I was doing? Would she think I was being stupid? Reckless? Or would she think I was being heroic? Elda certainly was portraying me as some sort of hero, and in her eyes, I saw how that could be true. But there was a part of me that just felt stupid. Like I was the gullible human the wise half-fae lured into her trap and tricked into becoming like her. Actually, I'd be more powerful than her. Much more. The idea had me nauseated.

Before I could think about it anymore, there was a knock at the door. I looked up, sniffling. Cursing, I reached up to wipe away my tears, which I hadn't realized had so quickly collected, before standing.

"Come in," I called, turning around to continue folding up my clothes. I really was just stalling so I wouldn't have to turn around and face whoever knocked. I finished folding clothes twenty minutes ago.

"Hey, Elda's bitching about how we need to leave soon. Are you packed?" I turned to see Dimitri leaning against the doorway. Both Anastasia and Dimitri didn't bother with glamour anymore, which I learned was the magic that kept their real forms concealed from the human eye, instead choosing to flash their pointed ears and long, harsh features around like it was nothing. Well, to them it was nothing. To me...it was groundbreaking.

"Yeah," I said, although my voice was tight. I turned back around and tied a string around the end of my sack, drawing it closed. I picked up the sack and held it tightly to my chest, plastering what I hoped looked like a hopeful smile on my face.

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