Forged in Frost and Fire (Book 1 in the Chronicles of Kings trilogy)

Chapter Thirty Six

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

One shouldn't have been able to survive after their heart stopped beating. The heart was the center of a person's being. It was what kept the body going, what kept the blood pumping, what kept one moving. It was the center of everything. And yet...here I was. Still surviving, but not really, without my heart. My heart was gone, all that was left was a block of ice. Hard, unyielding ice.

Everything ached inside of me. Every muscle felt tense, my fingers were curled around themselves, clasped to my chest, as if it could stop the deep ache inside of me. Darcy was curled at my side, her tail flicking up to poke at my arm every now and then. She meowed occasionally, as if to let me know she was still there. That didn't help either, though I appreciated the effort.

My temples pounded and I felt empty, as if a spoon had somehow carved everything out, leaving only a shell behind. I could hardly breathe, it felt as if a giant rock had rolled over my chest, staying there.

Sable was gone. He had left before I awoke. Though I did see the indent on his pillow, meaning last night certainly hadn't been just a dream. I still couldn't believe it. I saw Sable Deidre naked. But beyond that...I saw Sable at such a low point. He had been sobbing, bloody and shaking. Vulnerable. The king's killer had been vulnerable, on his knees before me. And I hated every minute of it. I'd rather Sable been angry and yelling at me than crying, his head bowed. I wasn't sure I'd ever forget what he looked like last night. The image was branded into my mind.

There was suddenly a knock on the door. "Eira?" It was Ayaz. I groaned, burying my face into my pillow. I curled my knees up to my chest. The thought of talking to him brought another wave of pain over my body.

"Eira?" he said, knocking gently on the door. "Okay, well, I'm leaving a plate of food by the door. You missed training and breakfast. I really hope you're not like...throwing a rager or anything in there." He chuckled before awkwardly falling silent. I could practically see him resisting the urge to hit his head against the wall.

"Okay, I'm leaving now," he said. "Remember I'm here if you need me, or Nazira, or Caspian...or gods above, even Sable, really." A gentle breeze blew through the door, blowing my hair back from my face and kissing my cheeks. I didn't smile, but I sighed gently, closing my eyes. I raised my hand and let a little snow flurry form above the place where I assumed he was standing. I heard him laugh before there was a thunk on the door. Ah, there was the forehead.

"Alright, I'm really going now." I heard his footsteps fade down the hall. I urged my body to stand. My stomach felt like it was caving in on itself and I could've used the strength, but I physically could not will my body to move upwards. My limbs felt leaden, my head so heavy I could hardly move it to the side. I felt like a corpse. Did my sister feel like this? I wondered what it was like for her in death.

Ice frosted in my chest and I raised a hand, watching as the edges of my fingers turned blue. In fact, the ice kept spreading. I watched in a mix of horror and awe as blue streaked up the veins of my arms, in my chest, and down my legs. I turning the room cold, dropping the temperature quickly. I could've stopped it. I should have. But I didn't care. Instead, I turned onto my side and put the covers over my head. At that point, nothing could thaw my frozen heart...

A knock pulled me out of the half-conscious state I had been drifting through. I buried myself further into my blankets, squeezing my eyes shut. I prayed that if I didn't respond, whoever was there would just go away. Unfortunately, the gods were not in my favor today. I heard the lock slide in the door and the hinges creak. I knew of only one other person who had a key to this room.

"Blazing hells," I heard Sable swear, closing the door behind him.

"Actually, it's quite the opposite," I muttered, my voice muffled. I heard him let out a sharp sigh. The sound of his teeth beginning to chatter could be heard even from under my blanket fortress. "Eira?" He sounded agitated, annoyed even.