Tomorrow's Blues

41. Healing

Of course Violetta was still in love with Joseph. Why wouldn't she be? They hadn't broken up because they'd wanted to, they didn't have a choice. So it would make sense if Joseph was still in love with Violetta, too. Which meant... I was the rebound.

I felt sick.

I put my head in my hands. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. No tears were coming out. "God. I don't know what to do."

It looked like Millie didn't know what to do, either. Her expression conveyed that she was feeling very uncomfortable. "I don't know, Ana. But..." She sighed, and I lifted my head up to glance at her. She was looking out towards the boats. "He loves you, you know."

I watched her. "You don't know that."

"I do," she said irritably. "Trust me, I really would not say it if it wasn't true."

"Well, did he tell you that himself?" I asked, my voice flat.

"No," she said, and I could tell she was trying to keep her voice even. It showed how far our relationship had come. "But I've known him forever, Ana. I know when Joseph is in love with someone."

I looked away. That didn't matter now, anyway. Not after everything that had just happened. "Thank you, Millie."

I saw her frown at me. "Uh, for what?"
"For telling me the truth about what happened. For being the only honest person in this town."

"Huh. Well, I'm glad you see it that way. Most people see it as me just kind of being a bitch."

Despite everything, I laughed. And after a second, Millie laughed with me. A strange thing to come out of this whole situation – the fact that Millie was now my friend. But I guessed I could use as many of those as I could get.

"I gotta go," I said, standing up. "Make some calls. Sort some shit out."

Millie nodded, standing too. "Sure. Listen, Ana, Alice... she will come around. It'll take time. But she will."

I just shook my head slightly. "I ... I don't think so. But thanks." I gave her a grateful nod. "I'll see you at work."

"Yeah."

I turned and walked away from Melissa's, down towards the harbour. I knew what I needed to do. I knew it the minute Alice found out about me and Joseph. I loved him, so much, and I didn't want to be the thing that stood between him and ever reconciling with his family. You don't realise how important family is until you lose it. So I knew what I had to do. It was going to hurt, and it was going to leave me heartbroken, but it was the right thing. At least, that's what I kept telling myself.

I got out my phone and went to my contacts, finding Joseph's. My thumb hovered over the 'call' button, and eventually I gathered the courage to press it. As I put the phone to my ear, my heart was pounded loudly and my mouth went dry.

He picked up after two rings. "Lily?"

"Hey," I said, my voice quiet.

"Are you – are you okay?"

"Um." I closed my eyes for a second. "Not really."

Joseph paused. "Where are you?"

"In town. But that doesn't matter." I let out a shaky breath. "Joseph, I need you to listen to me."

"Lily–"

"Please," I said softly, trying desperately not to let any tears fall. "Just listen. I–" My voice nearly gave out. "I don't think we can be with each other anymore." There was a stony silence on the other end of the line. I took that as my chance to keep talking, each word harder than the last. "Joseph, you are so important to me. You're the most important person to me in the world. Which is why I have to do this." My voice cracked slightly, my eyes burning. "I don't want to be the reason you never make up with your family. And the only way you will be able to do that is if I'm not in the picture."