Tomorrow's Blues

16. Bowling

Alice and I spent most of the morning wandering around town, sitting on the beach and having fish and chips for lunch. Ellie, Sam and Ryan joined us, and we all enjoyed the day together, and it felt so simple. It felt like today, despite starting off bad with the whole Joseph thing, was turning around and becoming a good day. Well, good in the whole scheme of things. My idea of a good day was not crying, and actually responding to people and doing things with them. Even on good days, though, when I was with my friends, my parents were constantly at the back of my mind. There was this emptiness inside me, all the time, and I couldn't shake it. But I did my best to fill some of it, even if I couldn't fill it in completely.

I spent the week working at Melissa's, mostly, trying to avoid contact with Joseph as much as possible since that was what he was doing with me. I tried to talk to him a couple of times when we were alone, but every time I did, he would just leave the room, or even the house. In fact, he seemed to be spending even more time away, barely ever being at home with his parents. It pissed me off to the extent that I couldn't even look at him when I was forced to spend time with him. If I so much as glanced at his face and saw his stupid blue eyes I would want to pummel him.

The weekend came around quickly, and suddenly I was getting ready for my date with Harry. Alice was rifling through my drawers while I was lying on my bed, groaning.

"Why can't I just wear what I'm wearing?" I complained, standing up and gesturing down to my jeans and sweatshirt.

"Because you need to make a little effort. This is a date. Don't you want to look cute?" Alice pushed me so I was standing in front of the full-length mirror. "Not that you don't always look cute. Because you do. But I'm just saying..." She glanced at my outfit. "Not the sweatshirt."

I looked down at myself. My sweatshirt was dark grey and very oversized, the sleeves hanging well beyond the tips of my fingers. "But it's comfy."

"Comfort is not what we're going for here." Alice went back to my chest of drawers and dug around in them, finally pulling out a red summery dress. "Now this is cute but it's also sexy. Put it on. You look like you're dressed for winter."

I rolled my eyes but pulled off my clothes and slipped on the dress. It used to be one of my favourites, but now it hung a little loose. I frowned at myself. I was very different to who I was last summer.

"Here." Alice handed me a belt. She knew what I was thinking without me even saying it. I looped the belt around my waist, and ran my hands through my hair, trying to fluff it up. "See? You're hot."

I gave her a half smile. "I..." I swallowed. I felt like I'd been shutting Alice out recently, and as I caught her gaze in the mirror, I saw the sadness in her eyes. "Alice, I'm..."

"I know." She smiled. "I know it's probably hard for you to talk about. But... if you ever do want to talk, you know that I'm here for you."

I nodded, feeling my eyes sting. I took a deep breath, keeping the tears back. "Okay. Dress on, makeup next."

For the next half an hour or so, Alice kept me company while I put on some makeup, applying a little concealer to hide the circles under my eyes and some mascara. And a bit of eyeshadow.

"Ana, you look lovely," Alice said as I turned to show her my finished look. "And it's almost time to go. Get your butt downstairs."

We both made our way down to the kitchen where I didn't expect to see Joseph standing at the fridge, shirtless.

"Ugh. Joseph, we don't need to see that," Alice complained.

Joseph barely looked up as he pulled a carton of orange juice out the fridge. "Don't look, then."