Spencer Reid One Shots

(24) Til The Very End- ;(

A/N: Angst, some fluff and a happy ending!
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Dear Spencer,

Ok, that sounds completely formal and I don't like it, but also...this is unfamiliar territory. Bear with me.

Would it be weird to say I miss you? I mean, it's not weird. I say it to you all the time when you're away on cases or I'm stuck at work and I just miss you, but this feels different, things are different this time. Saying goodbye to you earlier, when you got to the BAU from Mexico, felt like the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You should know, in case you don't know already, I have no doubts you're innocent. I know you, Spencer, and you should never think otherwise. I just....I wanted to scream and cry seeing you like that. Hugging you? In cuffs?? I just about broke down in front of you - the cold feeling of the metal handcuffs is probably burned into my hips, where your hands should have been, where your hands will be again. I just...tried so hard to hold it together, because I didn't want to be a mess when you got back, I didn't want you to have to leave me like that. But the second the elevator doors closed with you behind them, I was crumpled on the floor; your team probably thought I was deranged, probably still do.

Anyway, I guess we'll have to make do with these letters and monitored visits. I'm gonna come as soon as you're able to have visitors! Penelope already has an entire freaking chart scheduling each of us on "Spencer Time", so you'll have tons of visitors, I'm sure. They love you, you know - they're working so hard to try and get whatever they can to prove you're not the bad guy someone's trying to make you out to be.

Long story short, I miss you. I miss you a lot. I really hope I can see you soon. I love you, and I miss you, and we're gonna get you out of there. I'm okay for now, really, I just wish you were here and I wish I knew you were okay.

I love you, Spence.

Remember - it's you and me til the very end, right? Hang on for me, okay?

xo

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Hi Love,
It was really good to see you earlier. You know I wish with everything I have in me that I didn't have to put you through this. Honestly, I am okay. I'm trying to find out who to befriend in here to make things a little bit easier on me. It's easier, though, knowing I have you and the rest of my team fighting for me every step of the way. I appreciate it more than you could ever imagine. I love you so much, and I miss you more than I'd even thought possible until now.
Today you asked me how I was doing, how I was really doing, and I told you I was fine, which I am, mostly. I knew I couldn't go in depth, though, because I would've had to be held back from trying to hug you over the barrier. The main reason I'm okay, mentally, is because I keep thinking of you; I imagine the life we have waiting for us as soon as this is all over - a quaint apartment with bookshelves lining the walls, a clean kitchen with fancy countertops, soft throw blankets in every corner, matching slippers next to a freshly made bed, coffee machine on at all hours of the day.
But more than anything, I keep thinking about what our wedding will be like. I know we haven't discussed a timeline of any sort, and haven't planned anything at all, but I'd really like to start when I get back, if that's okay with you. I just...simply cannot imagine going through anything else without you as my wife, officially. I love you, and I want every single person to know it; even if all that means is signing a paper in a government office.
I miss you terribly, and I love you even more. You and me, until the very end.
Spencer
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Spence,

I'm really happy I got to see you today, but you have no right to keep telling me I shouldn't worry about you, because I had every right to be worried about you - and I was correct, wasn't I??!!? I didn't want to say this to you in person, because I probably would've cried on the spot, but you looked terrible. All those bruises...I just wanted to reach out and hold you in my hands for one minute; I'd be lying if I thought it'd be enough, but it would have to do. I wanted to smooth my fingers over your cheekbones and your jawline and your eyebrows and your nose and just hold you in place for a few seconds and imagine I'm absorbing your pain so you could breathe a little bit easier. I just...I can't imagine what you're going through and I wish there was something more I could do about it.