Are you afraid?

19

Loki's POV

I contemplate sleep for a long while. I've been plagued with nightmares ever since coming into this wretched tower. Midgard brings back memories from him. The titan that tortured me after I fell from the bridge so long ago.

I notice the feather I collected from the library after pulling off my coat. As it springs up as if demanding to be noticed I start to regret keeping it. What am I even to do with such an odd object. As I think I spin it between my fingers contemplating my next move. I could turn it into a nice quill, or even just use it in decoration. I could also just toss it away like I probably should have in the beginning.

In the end I just toss it onto the bed side table before continuing to change into proper sleep wear. I will attempt to gain some rest tonight. I shut off the lights as I lay down. Too soon do I feel myself falling into a dream.

I'm in chains, before me stands the titan. Strong, forceful, powerful he glowers down at me.

"You are pathetic!" He laughs mockingly as he pulls me towards him by the chains around my neck cutting off most of the air to my lungs "I asked so little of you! I gave you an army! Yet you still failed! You are worthless! Incapable of doing anything worth keeping you for! The only thing your good at is screaming as I cut you open!"

I'm ruffly shoved to the ground as tears leave my eyes. I try to crawl away as he advances still laughing at how weak I am. 

"Please! I'll do anything please! I did everything you said! Please!" I beg as he gathers the chains.

"Your mother would be so ashamed at what you've become," He growls pulling me towards him again "such a weak creature you are!" I buck and struggle from try to free myself from the chains panic setting in.

"Stop! Please!" I yell and suddenly the chains go slack. I rush to push myself away from my tormentor looking up at him I'm shocked confusion. What sick game is he playing at now?

His face is contorted in complicate confusion as he looks down at himself before looking up at me in shock.

"Loki?!" He gasps sounding horrified  "oh god! Are you alright? What's happened to you?" He rushes towards me causing me to flinch back trying to escape him once again.

"No! Please!" I cry out when he grabs me fighting him with everything I have.

"Wow!" He says stepping back hands raised "hey calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."

"You lie! You have done nothing but hurt me for years!" I growl trying to hold my ground. Afraid of how my words will effect his mood I cringe back away from him further still.

"Has he?" He asks looking down at himself "are you referring to Mr. purple people eater? Whoever this may be I am not." I look at him in confusion and distrust. What type of manipulation is he trying.

"Purple people eater?" I parrot.

"Oh! Right, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about," He laughs nervously "Your probably very confused aren't you."

"What- what's happening?" I ask looking around in panic as the scene begins to change to a nice garden.

"Loki, your dreaming," he says softly "I have no idea how I got here looking like this though."

"Who are you?!" I ask shocked and very confused.

"Well I was hoping you could tell me that," he says rubbing his forehead as if he's got a headache "god is he some sort of grape or something his forehead is so weird!"

"Who are you really?" I growl trying to compose myself a bit. I look around and begin to recognize the area as my mothers garden back home.

"Raven," he says "I'm Raven, and now that you've calmed down maybe I can look like Raven again." He seems to melt away into the mortal I had been hoping to not have to interact with for a long while.

"Raven?" I breath so confused and embarrassed for being seen in such a vulnerable position.

"Yes," she says calmly seeming to look very sad at my condition "would you like help out of those? Hopefully we can erase the rest of your nightmare quickly." I raise a hand to the chains around my neck that connect to both of my wrists.

"I do not trust you," I say defiantly "you feed on fear yet wish for me to believe you want to help rid me of mine?" She smiles softly at me changing form once again.

"Would you feel better if I looked like this?" She asks her voice becoming my mother's smooth sweet voice matching her appearance perfectly.

"Mother," I choke on a sob. She was the only parent who truly loved me growing up, her death still weighs heavy on my soul. Seeing her face even knowing she isn't who I wish her to be is such a relief after such horrid things have been done to me.

"Yes darling," she says calmly walking closer to me reaching for my chains "now let's get you out of these bonds shall we? They hurt you so." As she gets closer the thought of her not really being my mother leaves me. Replaced by the need to be able to hold and be held my my mother once again over takes me.

"Mother," I pull her close to me tears falling once more. She is my mother after all and I missed her so.

"Loki," she says then softly brushing her hands through my hair "oh Loki. Shh, I-I am here now."

"Mother it wasn't me," I sob wanting her to know what really happened, what I never got to tell her before I was locked up.

"Loki, what wasn't you dear?" She asks pulling back to look me in the eyes.

"Midgard mother, I never wanted to rule. I was being controlled!" I sob holding her face "I wanted to tell you! I was just so scared mother! I should have told you, and I should have never said such harsh words to you out of my own self pity. You are my mother! Even if not by blood, then by heart. Know that I will always love you as such." I'm ranting now saying everything I wish to but never could tell her.

"Loki," she says giving me a sad smile "I never questioned your love for me. You were bitter and angry. You did not mean the words you said to me." I pull her close to me again wishing to never wake up from this dream.

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*Authors note*
Hello and thank you for reading! I know this chapter is a bit heavy and all over the place but hopefully it wasn't too hard to read.

I'm so glad that some of you have said how you love Raven and her story. I love hearing you guy's input on different chapters, please refrain from any rude comments if possible. I will be trying to update as much as possible but I admit it may not always be as frequently as I wished.
-Trinity