𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌 | newtmas au

runaway

!!!!!!!!TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE BE CAREFUL I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!

you have been warned

NEWT

With shaking hands, I pick up the phone. My thoughts are running together, and I can't concentrate. Lizzie's voice filled my room.

"Newt what the hell are you doing?" she yells, voice cracking against the speaker. "Teresa just called me and told me everything!"

I don't speak, just listen to Lizzie point out the stuff I already know.

Tears start to form in my eyes. this is such a mess. My thoughts are blurry and I can barely understand the words coming out of my iPhone.

Tommy likes me. this he confessed to me. but...

I don't know. I have had a crush on him since I was thirteen years old when Minho first introduced us. we both like each other. We should be out doing couple things, and yet, we are both sitting in our different rooms, alone. maybe, ARHRHRHRH!!! We are best friends! I can't ruin that... what if we date, and it doesn't work out? Our friendship group would be split in two... I can't deal with this. Thomas makes me happy, and if I didn't have him in my life...

dark thoughts enter my head. suddenly I can feel the pain in my leg. memories swirl around, bad memories. i have tried to forget and move on but...it's a part of me. the scars are proof of that.

****

FIVE YEARS AGO

"dad I'm gay..." I whisper softly.

"what?"

a sharp intake.

"I'm-"

"you're a fag?"

"well-"

a slap to the face. i fall to the ground.

"you're not gay."

kick in the stomach.

"dad-"

"shut up. do you hear me?"

a punch in the kidney.

"you."

slap.

"are."

kick.

"not."

punch. i cough up blood.

"a."

another kick.

"fag."

"DAD STOP!" i beg.

"you are coming with me."

the cold wind from our balcony hits me in the face. I struggle to stay on the ledge.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" a voice shrieks from behind me.

i vaguely recognised tommy's voice. 

'oh yeah,' i think distantly. 'he was coming over to help me with that science assignment.'

everything fuzzes.

dad holds me over the concrete. my feet are nearly slipping.

"DEL, LIZZIE CALL THE POLICE"

someone else walks into the room and they scream. it sounds like lola.

i struggle to stay awake.

"GET OFF HIM YOU FUCKER"

the pressure on me releases. there is a crack of a fist and dad falls to the floor.

thomas starts to rush over to me.

"newt are you okay?"

i can't find the energy to tell him that it doesn't hurt.

then i feel myself slipping.

"NEWTTTT"

the noise that tommy made, even in my half-conscious state, haunts my dreams.

then i hit the concrete below with a bang and everything went dark.

******

"Newt!?" Lizzie shouts frustratedly, breaking me out of my faze. "Are you even listening to me?!"

"I don't know what to do," I whisper. It's the first words I've spoken since I've found out. 

Lizzie sighs.

"newt, he is your best friend. He is practically in love with you. And you are definitely in love with him."

my heart aches a bit.

"Even if you have doubts, you should at least talk to him. it would save both of you, a lot of mental breakdowns."

she hangs up.

i know she's right. he will hate me for thinking like this, but i have to talk to him.

a loud thud comes when a door and lola barges in.

"NEWT ISSAC ARE YOU SERIOUSLY BLOWING HIM OFF?" he hits me with her copy of the hunger games he's is always carrying around.

i wince.

words are stuck in my throat.

"newt, you cannot live your life WORRYING about what could happen?"

i raise my eyebrows at them.

"oh yeah," i scoff. "I'm the one with a journal strictly on what could happen if i do something."

I'm not lying. del has filled out about three diaries just based off what would happen if they acted.

she smacks me with the book.

"yeah, but i have problems!" del huffs. "I'm not denying that! but we aren't talking about me; we are talking about you! stop being a coward!"

her words hit harder than she means.

i think del realised what he said and her expression softened. "newt you are worried about losing his friendship right?"

i nod slowly.

"ok, but right now that's exactly what's going to happen if you blow him off! thomas is at his house right now, and has called you a million times, wondering what the fuck is going on. he is crazy about you newt. and i guaranty you, that if you too were to date, you guys would not break up. you guys are best friends and just perfect for each other."

she sits down next to me and gives me a hug.

"he loves you newt."

***
OH MY GOSH I AM SO SORRY WHY DID I DO THIS PLEASE DONT HATE ME I JUST NEEDED A GOOD BACKSTORY FOR HIS LIMP WHY DID I DO THIS

also this was a four am chapter written on my phone which explains the no capitals, and i was feeling hella depressed so i thought,

'hey why don't i write some of my happy newtmas story.' so i think i spread my aura onto this im sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyy

QUESTION: fave opts

ANSWER: can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky