Virgin Lips

14. Take a deep breath

I should have known it was going to happen. Why did I even hope it wouldn't, when it was the only obvious and natural outcome? Nope, Jeremy didn't show up. As I knew he wouldn't. At first I was a little disappointed, but in the end I made peace with it. It's not like I could expect him to actually stay true to his word. He probably changed his mind halfway through his shift, realize what an absurdity it would have been, to get stuck at breakfast with me.

I did wait. I was sleepy as hell, and the last thing I wanted was to be there when Scott arrived to open the diner, but I resisted through it, thinking it would be worth it just to talk to Jeremy a bit. But he didn't come. Oh, well.

After a night spent working, I pretty much crawled home. My sight was so blurry that I barely saw the silhouette crouched beside my door. At first I thought it was a package, so I tried to remember whether I'd ordered something that big on Amazon.

"Good morning."

Right. I should have expected this. When will people learn the meaning of boundaries? "Morning." Ben stood up with a sigh, and stretched, to which I frowned. "You didn't ..."

"I did."

"Ben ..."

"Since you weren't answering my phone calls, I decided I'd wait out here," he hinted at the pizza box next to him, "then I guess I fell asleep."

I rolled my eyes, bypassing the pizza box to open my door. "You shouldn't have."

"Where have you been?"

Ben, I like you, but you're not my husband nor my father, and I'm way past the age where I need to ask for permission to anyone. It's what I wanted to say, as snappy as I felt, since he clearly disregarded my request. "Work."

He checked his watch. "It's 9 am."

"Yes."

"You need to report your employer, it's illegal to make you work like-"

"Ben." I interrupted him, exasperated. "Please. I'm worn out, I worked all night, can we please not do this right now? Please? And you need to stop sneaking up on me when I'm most vulnerable, it's unfair."

"It's the only times I manage to actually get through your thick armor." He grumbled.

Because he came to stand between me and the door, being quite unfair and rude, not to mention mildly creepy, I sighed, sliding against the floor to sit down. Most of the night shift might have been chill, but cleaning up the whole diner wore me out. Those restrooms, I swear, I clean them every day yet every day they get worse. "I'm going to speak now." I said, tired of all this drama that suddenly entered my life. 

Between him and his obsession with dragging me out of my comfort zone, Faith sponsoring her brother in every single message, for who knows what reason, my parents hassling me about going back home if I can't make it in New York, and now even Jeremy coming back into my life for a split second, only to disappear just as quickly, yet in time to remind me of the dreamy little thing I was and how she died horribly, lost between one toilet scrub and the other ... I was finally about to blow up.

"Finally."

I sent Ben a dirty look, but he was unfazed. "I'm going to speak now," I repeated, "please, don't interrupt me. I am exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally, so please, just let me say this, then we can call it a day once and for all." I paused, waiting for his reply. 

Ben sat down beside me, yet far enough not to be able to touch me, crouching his legs. I hadn't asked him to, but I guess he prefigured it, because before nodding, he closed his eyes, leaning back against the door. He knew I would feel more at ease if I didn't have to look at him while speaking, and he was right.