Virgin Lips

21. Onceover plus smile equals flirting

JOANNA

"Have you heard from Ben?" I wondered, unable to retain myself, as I played with the ice cream. Somehow, Valerie convinced me to have a girl day that was supposed to be all about pampering ourselves, but it ended up being an interrogation on Jeremy. She wanted to know every single detail about that first date and everything that followed, which wasn't much, but according to her it was a big deal.

Jeremy and I really just have been texting, and he calls me when he's on the way to or from work. He hasn't come see me, but mostly only because I try to avoid it, it would be way too awkward to have him in my apartment while I'm nursing this silly wound.

"No, why?" Valerie sent me a side glance as she played with her own ice cream. The fact that I picked a cookie dough ice cream sundae, while she chose a whipped coffee one says a lot about how different we are, I think: I'm still a little girl deep down, she's a classy woman.

I shrugged. "Just asking." He said he'd be gone just for a weekend, but it's been a couple of weeks now.

"He hasn't texted?" Valerie inquired.

"He texts seldomly, just hi, how are you." I pouted, taking another spoonful of my ice cream. Two weeks ago, Ben said he would go back home for the weekend, because it was his mom's birthday; he said he'd be back on Monday, but there's been already two Mondays since then, and no trace of him. Oh, sure, he texts, once every 2-3 days, asking how am I, but for the most part he's been quiet. It's true that I've been more taken by this whole ... Jeremy thing, but doesn't mean I didn't notice that Ben detached abruptly.

"He's fine, probably got caught up in family life, you know how it is." Valerie dismissed it, only to then moan at the ice cream, "oh, Jo, you should try this, it's so good!"

I nodded distractedly, thinking about Ben. I'm just worried about him, is that bad? Between trying to understand why Jeremy even still talks to me, and looking for a new job plus reassessing my finances to make sure I don't end up starving too soon, I've been quite busy, but still not enough to notice the void caused by his absence.

It's odd, you know. It's odd how you can go on a whole life without someone, then the moment they step into your life, you forget how it was before and cannot even fathom going back; yet when they do, it's as if they took something with them, something you can't live without.

I guess was I getting used to having someone that really understands how I'm feeling or at least truthfully tries to. Not that Jeremy isn't understanding, or even Valerie, not to mention Joe and Michelle, even Faith and Hope. But Ben is just ... on a different level, if it makes any sense.

Four months ago, I was mostly on my own. The friendship with the twins has always been pretty easy, we just talk about trivial stuff, and they come see me or try to convince me to go to a party. It was apathic for the most part, with the twins just loosely orbiting around me, and Joe coming over almost every Monday for a pizza night.

Then Ben happened. And it's as if his appearance unlocked a new chapter, adding new characters into the mix; from Michelle, the friendly yet a bit intimidating NYPD officer, to Valerie, the curvy goddess that other than make me feel even worse about myself, actually inspires me to be a better version of who I am. And Jeremy ... oh, Jeremy. The sole thought of him brought a silly smile to my face.

"Oh, Romeo, Romeo ..." Valerie chanted, laughing as she pinched my cheeks.

I blushed, pulling away. "I was just ..."

"Thinking about Ben?" She winked.

I gulped. "No!" I cleared my throat, lowly correcting her: "Jeremy ..."