Ruination

4. New City Vibes

-In the city of opportunities lie a few heartbreaks-

Sila

Loud sirens and horns echoed in the air. The opportunity for a new beginning...I shed a single bittersweet tear as Maryam tugged on my arm and pulled me through the crowd of travellers. We were all going to the Hill Land-a city of fine job opportunities. 

The train station was overflowing with sellers, villagers and labourers looking to abroad the cheapest train and rush towards fulfilling their dreams. The sound of children crying, the loud mayhem, sellers and workers echoing in the air seemed too loud and profound. I was so overwhelmed. 

The dry heat of the day was sinking in.

Flashes of my families, memories of loved ones hugging me, my cousins having tea with me, hurt my heart. I was all going to put it behind, as I was pulled towards the stuffy entrance of the green, local train. The conductor was almost hanging from the gateway.

"All abroad!"

"Here is our ticket!" Maryam announced happily, waving our tickets in her hands. Both of us having our small suitcases hanging from our shoulders. 

"Get inside." The conductor rudely spoke, not bothering to check our tickets. This was how the peasant class travelled. A few village families were lining behind us. The smell of gravy and spices heavy in the air. 

Upon placing a foot on the train, I momentarily looked behind to relish the feeling of all the joy this city had once brought me. I gazed at the familiar crowd, woman tugging their children around, vendors working their best to sell fruits to the travellers...this had been my home. 

'Sila is the baby of our house. No one is ever supposed to hurt her.'

'Sila, we want the best for you. You are our everything.'

'Our baby Sila!'

As the glowing sun echoed in the air and my hold on the train's handle tightened, my emotions gripped me hard. I was going to miss my home so much. There had been so much pain and misery...my mistakes were always going to follow after me. 

"Miss, stop blocking the entrance and get inside!" The order was curt. 

Quickly snapping out of a strong sense of nostalgic despair and sorrow, I quickly nodded and stepped inside the train. The train's hallway was so overstuffed, hot, humid and dusty. Children were crying, making a fuss in their seats, mothers were sitting with huge cooking pots in their hands and their husbands were somewhere lost in the crowd. The train's windows were broken and dusty. 

"Sila, here!" Maryam's giddy voice called out to me. She had chosen a two-sitter seat right next to the dusty window.  Before her, two rural ladies were sitting with children sitting on their laps. 

A tender and broken smile appeared on my face. 

I had to accept that the hurt was going to stay, the regret was never going to leave me alone, yet this was my chance.  After battling with extreme depression, this was an opportunity for fighting back.

There was sunlight was flooding the trains. I breathed in its sensation to strengthen myself and shook my head. There was hope. No matter what, a bright sun, a lit path, they always meant a chance. The pain of the past had been excruciating, yet I couldn't stay there anymore. I had to move on. 

"Of course." I met Maryam's excited grin with a gentle and nervous nod. 

Hurrying by her side while avoiding the crowd, I slumped down and allowed her to grab my arm in sheer excitement.