Under a Silent Moon

22

Chapter Twenty-Two: Devil in Me

ZACK

When Lana's gone, panic slowly rises in my chest. A switch inside me flips, like my autonomy was just turned off by a foreign intruder. As my stomach begins to rumble its morbid command, I carefully take Julia into my arms and return her to her bed as quickly as my feet will allow.

When the devil in me emerges, I have to make sure my sister is far away. I'm supposed to protect her from monsters under her bed, not be one.

The latch of her door clicks softly, and I pad downstairs to the back door. As I pass my dad's office, light seeps under the crack of the door. Listening closely, I can hear the clicking of fingers working tirelessly on a keyboard.

The discomfort becomes more crippling the longer I don't feed. It's amazing how sometimes I can control my inner demons, and other times they control me.

My aching muscles take me down a few blocks and I veer onto a dirt trail leading to the local river. In the solace of the trees, I'm free to feed on any animal dwelling nearby. It definitely isn't an activity I enjoy--I've always been an animal lover. I've advocated for animal rights on social media and volunteered at a cat shelter last summer, even. And now, instead of protecting them, I'm devouring them.

The raw flesh, the spurting of blood, the crunching of bones, the desperate squeals.

I try to suppress my humanity in order to make this easier on myself. But do I truly deserve any mercy while I slaughter innocent creatures in their homes?

When the deed is done, I push my back against a boulder, the cold of the stone seeping through my shirt and into my core. I'm shivering. I didn't even know I could do that anymore.

I can feel the dried blood on my skin, but I'm hoping no one will see since it's pitch black out tonight. I peer up into the night sky in search of the moon, but it cowers behind a thick haze of cloud.

With my stomach full and emotions drained, the cool night air must have lulled me to sleep. I awake abruptly in the dirt to my phone thrumming loudly in my pocket. I have several missed calls from my dad, and I'm a little surprised he even noticed I was gone.

To quell his worrying, I shoot him a quick text that I took a walk and would be back soon. Now I have to wash this blood off in case Dad's staying up waiting for me. I'm going to have to start being more clean with my meals.

After I've washed up in the river, I'm not ready to go home. Despite how tempting a warm bed sounds right about now, I'm not interested in facing my dad's judgement. I decide to take a stroll to the gas station and pick up a new pack of cigarettes.

The bell rings when I push through the glass doors, sounding my arrival. A young woman is the lone clerk. She's sat atop a bar stool nursing a seemingly fresh tattoo. It's a good thing I just fed, I think as I wave to her. The stench of exposed flesh wafts through the store.

I head for the energy drinks because, let's be honest, I won't be getting any sleep tonight anyway. I set some cash on the counter and ask for the red pack of cigs at the top shelf. The petite cashier has to climb onto her stool to reach it. When she hands it over, I can see her new tattoo clearly on her right forearm. It's a cluster of black birds, the one nearest her wrist is sitting, and as the trail of birds goes up her arm they're in different stages of flight.

"What's that mean?" I ask, nodding at the birds.

She only shrugs. "Freedom?"

I add a lighter to my purchase as well, realizing my own isn't in the jeans I have on.

"Aren't you a little young to be smoking?" she asks, deciding to sell me the cancer sticks regardless.

My turn to shrug. "Aren't you a little young to be working here alone at night?"

She stares at me, blinks. "Are you gonna rob me?"

I grab my items and say, "Thanks. Have a good night."

In the parking lot of the gas station, I plop down under a street lamp, leaning my back against it. As I take my first puff, I decide to do some more research on my phone. Feeling foolish, I type: Weapons used against vampires. Knowledge is power, right?

Google floods my screen with endless links. I'm not sure which one to click; which websites are for legitimate vampires and not their fictional counterparts. Is there even a difference? Somewhere on the Internet, sites have to exist for people in my same predicament. I literally cannot be the only person that this has happened to.

I choose one at random and it includes a list with pictures and all. The usual stake and garlic cloves are there, but one catches my eye that I haven't considered before.

Fire.

I finger the lighter in my left hand and hold it out in front of me. I press down with my thumb and watch the little flame blaze to life. Fire is obviously deadly to anyone, but according to my research, vampires are extra flammable. It's one of the only things that can actually kill us. For good.

It feels silly to be afraid of something as feeble as this lighter. I almost want to pass my fingers along the flame like I used to do to mezmerize Julia.

Almost.

I click it off and return it to my pocket. Better not take any unnecessary chances.