Rings

I'd Marry You a Million Times

Carina sat on the ground outside of the hospital room. It had been hours, but she couldn't get herself to move from the cold hard floor. The weight of everything kept her glued to the linoleum beneath her.

"You are still here?"

Carina didn't look up at the voice; anything that required even the tiniest bit of energy was too much of a task.

"I can give you a ride home. You shouldn't drive or stay here forever."

"How am I supposed to go home?" She asked as she finally looked up and saw she was talking to Vic. Carina's whole world felt fuzzy or fake; she didn't acknowledge she was actually talking to someone until now.

When Vic didn't have an answer for her, Carina went back to looking at the gold band on her right hand. It was the closest thing to having Maya next to her ever again. A fresh wave of grief washed over her as she broke down again.

Vic got down on the ground with her and held on to her tight as her own tears spilled out on Carina's top. "I am here for whatever you need."

The two sat in silence until their legs went numb from sitting on the hard surface. Vic was getting uncomfortable, shifting positions every few minutes, while Carina found comfort in the discomfort. Just anything that distracted her from the aching in her chest.

"Victoria, I can't go home," Carina declared. "Then it will be real. None of this feels real. Like when I go home, she will be laying on the couch waiting for cuddles." Carina closed her eyes and rubbed Maya's ring. She could almost feel Maya's arms wrapped tight around her body as a warm feeling rushed through her. She could feel their love coursing through her veins and went to hold Maya back, but nothing was there, and she went cold again. "I can't do this," She cried.

Two weeks later, Carina finally started going through Maya's things, Not getting rid of them, just sorting them away to deal with later. She refused to disturb anything before. At first, it was comforting being surrounded by everything that was quintessentially Maya, but now it all hurt too much. Travis and Vic were over to help. Over the years, they became best friends, and Carina felt guilty for appreciating that they understood her pain.

They had pulled out all of Maya's things stored away in the guest room, more out of curiosity than anything. "Is it okay if I go through this box?" Travis asked, pointing to a bin labeled London 2012. Normally he was one to push boundaries, but he knew to have full consent before attempting anything.

"Sure," Carina responded as she walked off to her room. She played with the ring on her right hand in some attempt to calm her down.

Carina knew going through Maya's belongings would be difficult, but she didn't expect it to hurt so much. Her best friend was going through a box from the time Maya was in her prime, the strongest and fastest and healthiest she would ever be, now she was reduced to a memory, and an urn Carina kept on the nightstand so she could still be close by at night.

Trying to feel a bit closer to Maya, Carina rummaged through the dresser for one of her t-shirts, hoping the smell of Maya would help. There wasn't much left; Carina had worn most of Maya's loungewear every night to bed already, and she was too scared to wash anything, knowing it would get rid of the scent she longed to be near her again.

Shoved in the corner of Maya's underwear drawer, Carina found one last shirt bundled up. She laughed to herself, wondering how the black top managed to get overlooked by her extremely organized wife. As she unrolled it, a small box and stack of notecards fell on the ground.

Carina gasped as she opened the velvet box. It was a beautiful ring with a large diamond in the center with five smaller ones surrounding it. She fell to her knees as she reached for the cards.

'My love,

Five years ago, I was made the luckiest human on earth when you said I do. My first proposal was terrible, and I am still so very sorry. And since everything was so unexpected and rushed, I couldn't give you the special engagement ring you deserved. And I totally dropped the ball on the vows at our wedding.

So marry me, again. Renew our vows. And let me make that all up to you.

You bring out the best of me, and I hope I do the same for you. I don't know what I would do without you. Which is why I have to make sure I do everything right. Make everything extra special, because you are the most special and extraordinary person I've ever known and don't deserve anything less.

That is why our fifth anniversary is the perfect time for me to do this. The largest stone looked like one you would like. I was told it is supposed to mean something special, but I'm not good at remembering that stuff and saved the information for you to read later. The five smaller diamonds are to represent the amazing five years we've shared as wife and wife.

Please make me the luckiest human on earth times two and say I do again.'

Scribbled on the bottom of the last card in big letters.

'DON'T FUCK THIS UP DELUCA-BISHOP!'

"Are you okay?" Vic ran in, "We thought we heard something."

Carina jumped at the voice and looked up, repeatedly nodding her head while trying to form a sentence. But she was so overwhelmed every time she opened her mouth, nothing came out. Vic sat down across from her on the ground and let Carina take her time.

"Maya was going to propose again." Carina's eyes were watery, but she had a silly smile spread across her face. "Our anniversary is in a week, and she was going to propose again." Her words came out softer than before as reality set in. "I want to- She's- It's not gonna happen." She chewed on her cheek, trying to hold in the pain.

Just then, Travis entered after overhearing a bit of the conversation. "It's okay, let it out," he encouraged as he sat down on the floor next to her, pulling her in and letting her cry on his shoulder.

Once she calmed down, Travis asked, "Can I see?" Carina handed over the ring, still in the box. "Oh, beautiful. You are one lucky lady."

Travis took the diamond ring and put it on Carina's hand, joining it with the wedding band already on her finger. They looked perfect together.

"Can you guys give me a second? I'll be back out in a bit."

"Of course. We are just outside if you need anything."

"Thank you."

After she was alone again, Carina looked down at her hand, loving the way the two rings sparkled together. Then she looked to the ring on her right hand, and she was overcome with a sense of love, so strong it hurt she wasn't able to express it.

"Thank you, Bambina, it's perfect," She said as she kissed Maya's wedding ring. "I'd marry you a million times if I could."