Rings

You Can Keep it - Part Two

The fresh air helped Carina feel at one in her skin again as she aimlessly wandered the Seattle streets. Since it was still fairly early on a weekend morning, everywhere Carina passed was still mostly empty. With it being early spring, the weather hadn't turned yet, and the ground and everything around her was covered in a light layer of dew.

Carina stumbled upon a small park; it was empty, so she thought it would be a good spot to sit down and sort out everything buzzing through her mind. She rubbed her temples as she tried to will away the pounding in her head, tears streaming down her face.

Maya thought she didn't take their marriage seriously anymore. What kind of an accusation was that? Maya was the most meaningful thing in her life, the only thing she had left. Maya was her home, and Carina was trying to make sure she wouldn't become homeless again. But she couldn't tell Maya all that.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting on the damp bench, but it was long enough for most of the water around her to evaporate. Carina wiped her face when she saw a couple walking by. The cool metal on both of her ring fingers brushed her skin as she tried to stop herself from crying more.

Looking down at her hands, all the good memories with Maya flooded into Carina's head. For a second, she didn't worry about their future or Maya's safety or that she was messing all of that up to what, protect Maya? It wasn't doing anything but hurting both of them.

Realizing she had gone about everything the wrong way, Carina got up and sprinted home, at least for the first five minutes before acknowledging just how far she had walked from home. The moment the apartment building was in view, Carina picked up the pace, running up the many flights of stairs because she couldn't be bothered to wait for the elevator.

She burst through the front door but then froze. The whole way back, Carina had rehearsed her apology and how to talk about her anxiety without sending Maya into panic as well. All of that was gone, wiped from her memory the instant she locked eyes with Maya.

"Are you okay?" Maya walked over to Carina, concern in her eyes, seeing Carina hunched over, trying to catch her breath.

"I should have just taken the elevator." Maya motioned for her to stand straight and moved Carina's arms to rest on her head to let more air fill her lungs. "I don't understand how you used to run for a living. I feel like I am dying."

"How far did you run?"

"On and off from by that one sports bar that has the cow thing that throws you." Carina took a deep breath between every couple of words.

"Mechanical bull. That bar is like a fifteen-minute drive, wow."

Maya couldn't help but smile seeing Carina in her current state. Even though she was all sweaty and still gasping for air, it was noticeable the time outside helped clear her head, and she was more open to talking about what she was going through.

Carina was too preoccupied to notice the way Maya was watching her. But she did pick up on the aroma wafting in from the kitchen. Maya noticed her eyes drifting to the other room.

"I made chili. There is a bowl ready for you if you want some. I didn't know when you'd be back but thought you might be hungry since you didn't make that breakfast."

Carina looked back at Maya; her eyes were softer than when she left. "I'm sorry."

"We can get into that later. Come eat; you're probably starving."

Carina followed Maya's orders; they sat quietly across from each other at the table while Carina ate. Both of them were too nervous to break the silence.