✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

13. My Contribution

I poked my head into the nursery as I passed, while I could still hear her in the bathroom. Probably fixing her hair, I guessed; her room didn't have a decent mirror. I was more surprised to see her laptop sitting on the desk, already turned on so early in the morning. Maybe she had been checking messages from her friends, so that she wouldn't have to ask me about going out if something had come up for one of the others.

I knew I should respect her privacy, but I also didn't want her to be suffering in silence if I was doing anything she didn't like. Would she have the courage to say? I froze on the spot for a few minutes. I would have gone ballistic if my parents had thought like this when I was a teenager. Admittedly, they'd read my diary when I was younger, but that was why I'd broken the habit of writing everything down. Still, I felt like I needed to know. I needed to be sure that she wasn't imagining rules I'd never given her, or that there wasn't anything she was afraid to ask. I walked over to the laptop and tapped a couple of keys.

FriendSpace was my first port of call. Just about everyone was on that site, sharing whatever they felt was worth passing on to others. Tess had already added me, while we were talking about her moving in, and we'd exchanged a couple of messages. The only things she'd shared publicly since she'd been here had been random memes that didn't mean anything to me. I wondered who she had been talking to today.

I knew I shouldn't, but I called up her private messages and took a look at a few. It felt like an invasion of privacy, but I told myself that I needed to know. If there was anything she felt too embarrassed to share with me, I wanted to know. And I felt like I should know what her plans for today were just in case she got into some kind of trouble. I didn't go peeking into her diary or anything like that; just looked at what she'd shared recently, in case there was anything that might shed some light on her state of mind. But there was nothing there; just the same memes I'd already seen. She barely seemed to interact at all; the only active group she was in seemed to be some kind of concert, and beyond that her news feed was filled with ads and memes in equal proportions.

I clicked on my own most recent post, and looked at my own posting history through my cousin's eyes. It was probably a dumb thing to do, but I was curious. At least she hadn't hidden me from her feed, which I knew some young people made a habit of. I clicked on a few of my posts as well, sending myself an upvote for things she might be interested in. It would make it easier to refer to them later if I had notifications to remind me which of my past shares might be relevant, and I didn't think she would mind. Then I clicked on her private messages, wondering if those would tell me what time her friends were expecting her.

There was nothing there; they must have discussed it in person. This morning had presumably been checking for a reply from her parents. She'd sent them a message yesterday, asking if she should be expecting them to send her an allowance, or if I would be giving her something out of the money they were sending towards her upkeep. It was a good question, actually, and one we hadn't reached an agreement on before they left the country. I decided that in the circumstances, it would be better if I gave her some money to make sure she had enough to have fun today. She was in a stressful time for any child, having just moved house, and I didn't want her to have problems while we decided on all the administrative details.

I closed the tab, and rushed up the stairs to my own room. I could still hear the sound of a hair dryer coming from the bathroom, so I was pretty confident that I hadn't interrupted Tess's morning routine. I swapped my hoodie and sweatpants for an outfit that was comfortable, but more like a parody of an evening dress. Then I went through my wallet, and pulled out a pair of twenties. That would be enough for a day in town, I was sure. She could afford a cinema ticket, or a decent lunch, or whatever else her friends had in mind.

When she came downstairs, I was sitting at the kitchen table again, scrolling through a daily dose of comic strips on my phone.

"Hey," I said. "You heading out now?"

"Yeah. Do I need to check in and let you know where I am?"

"I trust you to let me know if you have any problems. I worry about you, but I said I'd treat you like an adult when you act like one. And I keep my promises. But there is one thing..."

"Hmm?"

I pushed the money across the table towards her. "I'm getting paid to feed you, so it's only fair I put something towards it when you're eating out. Get something nice. And maybe something for the house as well. I want this to feel like our place, not just mine. So if you're in town and have time, you could get something you like. Pictures, ornaments, whatever it takes to make a place feel like home."

"I don't need–"

"I'm asking you to get something, Tess. Just humor me, okay? And if you got any money left over, don't worry about it. Yes, I'm sure. That's what comes with treating you like a real person until your parents get back to me about a proper allowance for you. I'm going to make sure you aren't struggling."

"I'm not, trust me."

"Then you might have time to get something to make this place feel like your home. Can you do that for me?"

Tess chuckled, and nodded. I didn't quite catch the mumbled words, but I knew she was probably comparing me to her mother again. After talking to the woman a few times recently, I thought that was just a little flattering.

She fixed herself a travel mug of coffee; for the interminable bus ride ot Greater Ashfields, I guessed. And then she was really leaving. Opening the door, and somehow I was sure I was going to miss her more than I did when she was at school. It felt almost like she was a real adult now, not the small child I wanted to protect.

"Remember, you can call me if you have any problems. I'll come pick you up any time."

Tess just laughed as she walked out of the door. A second later she turned around and answered. "Thanks, Mommy!" I knew she was joking, being ironic, but I couldn't describe how good it made me feel to be addressed like that. It was all of my dreams coming true at once. She blushed then, suddenly embarrassed, and rushed away without another word. But before the door swung closed there was already another figure standing there. A beautiful woman, not a child, and smiling just as much as I had.

"She seems a little embarrassed, dear," Ffrances greeted me. "What's wrong? Something we need to help with? She seems to have run away."

"She's going to town with friends. I think she's just blushing because she called me Mommy in front of someone she doesn't know. It's still kind of a secret, she doesn't want to admit that she's a little. But I'm sure she'll get used to it once she knows you better."

"Well, I'll talk to her when she gets home. But what have you planned for us until then?"