16. My Concern

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I was pacing nervously across the lounge as the evening started. Each glance outside the window told me that the sun was sinking below the horizon now, but I kept on waiting just a moment longer.

"You don't need to worry," Ffrances said again, but I couldn't help it. "You said she's responsible. She'll be back soon."

"I know. But my little girl is out there. I thought she'd be back by dinner time, but it's late already."

"What time did she say she was going to be back?"

"She didn't. I should have asked, but it came out of nowhere, you know? She wanted to go out with her friends, and she was really nervous about it, so I didn't want to be giving her an interrogation. But it's getting dark now."

"Maybe their plans include dinner. Wouldn't be unusual, would it? For a kid her age."

"I guess," I nodded, but I was still worried about my little girl, out there on her own. Her friends were with her, but I didn't know anything about them, so how could I trust them to protect her? I knew she was mature and responsible, but she shouldn't have to be. The sooner she stopped trying to do everything herself, the sooner she would be ready to enjoy being a real baby.

When the lights in the park opposite started coming on, I knew it was unlikely she would be home soon. Thinking back to when I was that age, every couple of weeks I'd gone to the mall with my friends, and then watched a movie after dinner. My Mum might have worried, but she never showed any sign of it, so I should be able to imagine Tess doing the same. But I didn't like to think of her being so independent; it just didn't seem natural. I took my mind off it by fixing dinner. Just a baked potato now, with bacon, peppers, and cheese sauce. Nothing like the feast I had prepared at lunch time, but I could still take pride in my culinary skills.

"I can do that if you want," Ffrances said with a smile, but made no move to get up from her chair. She knew that the food would come out better in my hands, and she was feeling just a little lethargic now. I think if there had been someone else around, we would both have been content to laze in front of the TV while dinner was prepared.

We were just sitting down to eat when the door opened and Tess kicked off her shoes.

"Have a good time, baby?"

"I'm not a baby," she grumbled, but she sounded just as happy as ever. The perfunctory denial was a part of her vocabulary now, and she felt like she had to say it even if she didn't really feel it. I could tell from the smile that she wouldn't be objecting for long. She had agreed that I could call her that, and she knew on some level that if she complained too hard I would just remind her how much of a baby she had been last night. She would grudgingly accept the word, but this was the first time I'd seen her smiling while she said it.

"Okay. Have you already eaten? I've got another potato here I can put on for you."

"That would be great," she said with a smile. "Thanks. I can do it myself if you're going to–"

"I can do it," Ffrances interrupted. "I think I need to let mine cool a minute, so you two can chat while I'm working."

This time I was happy to let her do the work. It wasn't like she'd have any difficulty, and I did need to ask Tess where she'd been, and whether coming back at this awkward hour would be a regular concern.

"Sorry I'm late," Tess said as Ffrances hurried through to the kitchen. I was glad that I didn't have to ask. "I underestimated how long the bus back would take. I missed the one I meant to get, and caught the next one instead. But it goes all the way round Palmerston, and I don't know any of the streets, so I ended up going all round the houses for an extra twenty minutes."

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