✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

53. My New Approach

When I woke up in the morning, I stretched out and smiled. I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time, and I was looking forward to the day ahead. My head was still full of dreams, and there wasn't a thing that could have spoiled that moment. Although there was something that could make it better, like stretching out and feeling a warm body beside me. Seconds later I was teasing Ffrances into wakefulness, so she could share my joy at the new day, and it wasn't long before she showed me that she still had all the power in our dynamic.

A half hour later, I could easily have gone back to sleep. There was no spear of sunlight invading through the gap in the curtains, no hint that the sky was fading from black to grey outside, but I knew that sooner or later my alarm was going to tell me I needed to start the day. As a compromise, I rolled onto my side and put an arm around Ffrances again.

"You know, you should be getting breakfast ready, shouldn't you?"

"I've got a few minutes before my alarm, I think," I answered.

"You turned it off already. Ten minutes ago. Don't remember?"

I turned my head, and saw that my alarm clock was on the floor somewhere. An overenthusiastic flailing arm could have been responsible for that, now I thought about it. Sometimes I was very good at tuning out distractions. So I pulled myself out of bed, checked the time, and then set it back in its usual place.

"My mind must have been on other things," I said. "Now, you wanted some rest, didn't you? I'll bring you up some breakfast in bed after I got Tess sorted. I assume she'll be up by now."

"I heard her voice a moment ago." Ffrances's hearing was a little better than mine, so I didn't mind the second hand information. "A little yelp of surprise, I think. But breakfast in bed would be very good. Can't remember the last time I had a day off that wasn't filled with the minutiae of residents' association meetings, bills, and other nonsense."

"You should stay here more often. That stuff can't reach you here."

I didn't quite catch her mumbled response as I headed downstairs, but I guessed that it was the usual happy indecision. As much as we wanted to live together, she was still nervous about it, and had been putting off a real decision for a whole year now.

Tess seemed as cheerful as usual, and she looked like a real child when she was fidgeting in the kitchen chair. I called her 'baby' and she didn't even fight it. I knew a part of that would be from the hypnotic suggestions; wetting her diaper was a childish thing in her mind, so she would have less objection to being treated like a child. But I liked to think that a lot of her reaction was influenced by the number of variations of this scene we had played out over the last three or four weeks. By now, even when she wasn't anywhere near her child headspace, calling her a baby would only get a perfunctory objection. She was getting used to it, and that would make it so much easier to take her one step further.

I still didn't know what effect my new suggestions were having; if they were working as intended, or if her subconscious was just discarding the suggestions that didn't seem to fit. I knew that I needed to find the truth, but I didn't want to push it by trying too many things too fast. But I could ask a few questions, even if it wasn't quite the truth.

I told Tess that I was going to be in work late today, and would have time for cleaning. I asked if I would need to do her room; whoever emptied the bins would usually do the whole house at once, so that was one occasion she didn't mind me going in her room. She blushed and stammered before admitting that she'd had an accident again. But her diaper was in the bathroom bin today, not her own. That was a change in routine, and suggested that her subconscious mind was taking the suggestions exactly how I had hoped it would.

"I said the trigger last night, didn't I?" I probed, wondering if she would be able to admit what had happened. But she just blushed and said that maybe it hadn't worked. Like I'd told her before, it wouldn't be one hundred percent. That helped me to judge her responses a little better; she remembered being told not to have an accident in her sleep, but had forgotten the instruction to wet after she woke up. But I still couldn't be certain which had actually happened. I had enough experience with hypnosis now to understand that your mind isn't like a computer following a set of commands; the results might not be exactly what you expect, but they're usually in the right area.

More clues pointed in the same direction. I suggested that if the hypnosis didn't work, perhaps she should see a doctor, and she said no. And then she asked if I could ask Ffrances to talk to her about something. Something she didn't want to let me know. I could imagine what that might be; perhaps she was somehow blaming the hypnosis for her early morning accident, and wanted reassurance. Before she left the house, my mind was already whirring, wondering how I could find a way to reassure her without her needing to admit what had happened. I needed her to think it was helping her, because those suggestions wouldn't last forever. Tess needed to be okay with Ffrances trancing her again, at least until she'd accepted her life as a little.

Before I could think much more about it, Tess had one more thing to make me worry. She wanted to go out again with the thug who'd been trying to corrupt her. She promised me that it was just his birthday party, a whole bunch of friends going out to see a movie, but she didn't even tell me what movie it was going to be. It was hard to trust her, when she kept on defending the guy like she really knew what was going through his mind. But still, there was little I could do. I couldn't keep her home from school, not without a good reason. I couldn't control her communication with the outside world, and I was well aware that being too protective would bring me a huge weight of criticism from people who didn't understand the thought process of older boys. I tried to sound supportive today, as if I trusted this boy now. I just told her to be cautious, to call me if she had any problems, and that she was going to have an accident if the guy tried to kiss or otherwise molest her.

"Thanks," she said. "But you're not my mum. And Spike isn't like that, he's a good friend. Okay?" She gave a wave, and was still smiling as she walked through the door. I could only wait, and hope that my precautions wouldn't be necessary.

Once Tess was out of the house, I put a tray together for Ffrances. I could start work late today, and I fully intended to spend the morning pampering my girlfriend. I could take a few minutes to clean up now that I'd told Tess I would; or if Ffrances wanted my attention for a little longer, she could take care of chores while I was at work.

I carried the tray upstairs, and was surprised to hear a faint voice when I got to the top. Ffrances was just putting her phone down as I stepped in, and I could tell from her expression that she wasn't impressed with what she had just heard.

"Tess seems to be enjoying herself," I told her, hoping to cheer her up a little. "Trying to pretend she's a big girl, but can't stop grinning. She said she wants to talk to you later, I'm not sure if the trigger needs reinforcement, or if she wants to add something."

"Okay, I'll ask her. But I can't do anything unless she can tell me what she wants. She knows that, right?"

"Yeah. So, who called?"

"Work. There's... a bit of a crisis. Not something I can talk about, but... they need me in today. And it's going to be late, so I can't make my famous paella for you."

"Okay. But you have to enjoy your breakfast. Okay? French toast, sticky waffles, bacon, fried peppers, and your favourite coffee."

"You really know the way to a girl's heart," she smiled, and I knew that a small change of plans wouldn't be a big deal for either of us. I put the tray down across her lap, and watching her eat was all the fun I could have asked for. She never let anything get to her, and the time we spent together meant the world to me. A heavy work schedule could be dealt with when I got to work, and I could wait until Tess called me to see how today's experiment had gone. For now I was in heaven.