✅ My Cousin's Keeper [NaNoWriMo 2021]

82. My Mixed Blessings

Tess was half asleep on the way home; I guessed that was the effects of jet lag. It could be so hard for a little one, especially travelling on her own. But when she dozed off for a few moments, she looked so peaceful slumped in her seat. I wondered if we would be able to get her a proper car seat, to help her feel more like a toddler. But I knew there was little chance. She was small, for sure, and she had a baby face, but I didn't think she would fit comfortably in any of the seats I'd seen.

Still, she was adorable. We sat in front of the TV for a good chunk of the afternoon, just killing time. She went up to her room briefly, saying that she had some extra homework to deal with. I thought she'd done everything before she went away; that was the kind of organised girl she normally was. But apparently that wasn't the case. She explained that for some reason they were supposed to be writing a paper about festive traditions that they were unfamiliar with; and she had decided that the best way to approach it was to watch how things were different celebrating in Europe, and write about it when she got back. I could kind of understand that. It sounded kind of like one of the assignments I'd had in college, where the objective was more to assess your ability to do research and select the important points than any interest in what the question was about.

Ten minutes after she left the lounge, I stood up and stretched. If I took her a coffee now she would probably be grateful, unless she was already asleep. And I was still hoping against the odds that there was a possibility of triggering her during the day. I'd sent her a message earlier and she'd shown no sign of having seen it. Did that mean that she had seen it, but for some reason hadn't been mad? Or that she'd forgotten it just like the posthypnotic suggestions said, but the trigger only worked when she was going to sleep? Or could it be that she'd wet herself right away, while she was standing in line, but had managed to hide the fact from us because she'd still been wearing Goodnites so that she could sleep on the plane? I had no idea, but a quick inspection of the trashcan in her room would tell me right away.

"Huh?" I grunted, as I felt a hand on my wrist. I followed the shapely arm with my eyes, right up to Ffrances's shapely body and captivating eyes.

"I said, I'd like to check something. You relax, I'll talk to Tess."

"I can–"

"No. Listen, Gabby. This is me telling you what I am going to do. I want to talk to Tess, and I want a little privacy for this. It is not something for you to stick your nose into. Do you understand?"

I nodded slowly. When she was in that kind of mood, I didn't want to anger her. Even if all the ways she had to punish me turned out being fun in the end, I still wanted to make her happy. And perhaps this was when she finally realised she couldn't play chicken. She might be begging Tess to find someone else to be the little girl for our Christmas plans. It would be impossible to do that at such short notice, and we'd probably have to call the whole thing off, but I was glad my girlfriend had finally seen some sense. She wasn't cut out to be little; she was far too dominant. And pushing herself into that kind of situation would have proved it to her in the worst possible way.

So I sat in the lounge and played stupid games on my phone for five minutes until Ffrances returned. She didn't tell me whether Tess had agreed, or if the little girl was still trying to blackmail us. I didn't push it; I met Ffrances's eyes once, and immediately knew that she had decided this was her business. I wanted to be a big part of her life, but I knew that she was good at setting boundaries if there was something she didn't want to talk about right now. Showing weakness in front of a small child was probably one of those times; she couldn't bear me talking about something like that. So I let her process it herself; it wouldn't be long before she was back to firing on all cylinders again.

By the end of the show, I was sure she would be feeling better; but she still didn't want to talk about it, whatever it had been. Instead we worked together to assemble dinner; Ffrances had suggested pease pudding today, served with slices of beet, peppers, and ham. We had the combination at least once every winter, and she'd told me before that it was a regional delicacy that her family preserved, although I didn't know what region it could have originally come from. It was easy enough to make, in any case.