Never Alone Again |N.R|

Game time.

I'd spent the next three weeks practising my powers and training in the gym. I went to the gym everyday with the team, except I kept myself to myself and worked out alone. When they had a day off, I'd still go down there to train as hard as I would any other day. Unlike them, I needed to prove myself on this mission and I wasn't about to let them down without a fight. By the time three weeks had passed my body was strong, my fitness greatly improved and I had precision control over my powers. I was as ready as I'd ever be to willingly step back into HYDRA's grip, except this time I'd fight back.

My alarm went off at 6:00 am, Natasha having set it for me last night as I'd 'forgotten'. In reality I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep at all, so there would be no use for an alarm. Instead I'd been up all night practising all types of moves, preparing my body for the tough fight ahead. I didn't want to have to solely rely on my powers so I'd asked Natasha to practise some combat with me in a few training sessions. She'd been surprised by my request, but that subsided when I quickly went back to working on my own once she'd taught me what to do. My bag had been packed for a couple of days. I'd done it one night to pass some time, since sleep had become scarce. I'd stopped drinking in the lead up to the mission, so I couldn't rely on alcohol to numb my mind and stop the nightmares. It meant that I hadn't slept a wink in three days, and I was starting to feel it.

I suited up, pulling on an all-black suit equipped with several knives before I grabbed my duffel back off of the chair in my room and left, making my way to the helipad. I was the first one on the quinjet, with only Clint there sitting in the cockpit. "You ready Agent?" He sent me a smirk as he said it. That was when it hit me, that I was an agent. I tried to hide my surprise as I replied, "as ready as I'll ever be." He turned around again to ready the controls as more of the team started to board. I was sat in the farthest seat from the front as everybody else took the seats closest to the cockpit. My knee started bouncing as I became more nervous about what was to come. In an effort to silence my mind I put my earphones in and turned up the volume, only being able to hear a faint whirring of the engine over my music. My knee continued to bounce but at least my mind was distracted for a while, although it would soon be able to drown out the music I was sure. The journey to the HYDRA base was a long one, so I'd just have to try and keep calm.

As I expected a couple of hours into the 10 hour flight the music had stopped working so I took the earphones out. My thoughts were getting louder and louder, only worsening my anxiety. Along with my bouncing leg I was now twiddling my fingers aggressively, as well as scrunching my eyes closed and gently knocking my head back against the cold wall of the quinjet in an effort to remain somewhat present. I was trying so hard to keep it all in, just hoping that nobody would notice me fighting my thoughts. But a couple of minutes later I felt someone's presence beside me, before they gripped my hands to stop them moving. "Shhh, you're okay. It'll pass." I exhaled deeply before opening my eyes, looking over at Natasha momentarily.
"How long do we have?" I asked, desperate to get out of this metal box that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller.

"We've got a few hours left."

"I don't think I can last that long."

"You can, I know you can. Just take some deep breaths." I closed my eyes, leant my head back again and inhaled deeply. We hit some turbulence, only making me more nervous. Without realising I moved my hands so that they now gripped onto the one that Natasha had placed on mine. I squeezed it fairly hard, but soon stopped when I realised. "Sorry, did I hurt you?" She just smiled at me now.
"No, it's okay. Keep hold of me, I'm not going anywhere." I didn't return her smile but I did keep hold of her hand, squeezing it every now and then when we hit a rough patch.

After what felt like forever, we landed in the undisclosed location. Only a few of the team were allowed to know in an effort to prevent leaks. I just wished it wasn't so far away. That journey made me hate HYDRA even more, if that was possible. I let go of Natasha's hand the second we landed, thanked her for staying with me before standing up abruptly and walking down the ramp to the outside. We were in thick forest, the clearing where we'd landed appearing to be the only one for as far as they eye could see. However, as I scanned the terrain I caught a glimpse of a concrete building poking up above the ground. They'd done well to hide it, but not well enough.