𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒍𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒅 || 𝐊𝐚𝐳 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐗 𝐎𝐂

Preperation

We all stand in an oddly shaped circle. I try to hold back a laugh as Kaz scans our faces. My cheeks warm as his gaze comes to rest a moment too long on me. His figure Is a silhouette against the morning haze over the city. He settles his hands over his cane.

"We all want different things from this day. Freedom, redemption—"

"Cold hard cash?" Jesper adds.

"Plenty of that. There are lots of people looking to stand in our way. Van Eck. The Merchant Council. Pekka Rollins and his goons, a few different countries, and most of this Saintsforsaken town."

"Is this supposed to be encouraging?" Nina asks, grinning.

"They don't know who we are. Not really. They don't know what we've done, what we've managed together." Kaz raps his cane on the ground. "So let's go show them they picked the wrong damn fight."

We all disperse to begin our phase of the plan. I wish them all good luck before they leave. Matthias and Kaz and I are left alone. I lean over Kaz's shoulder as he works through plans and sketches. I love you. He had whispered that to me. Kaz Brekker saying those words truthfully hurt.

Every piece of information sold by me and to me says not to mix feelings with barrel thugs. Never to fall to the weakness of love. The price for love is greater than death. The pain it brings is worse than any knife or bullet could bring. Still, love has me in chains and on my knees, begging for mercy. Weak. Kaz had once told me I can't. And I can't fall to it now.

Curls wisp at the nape of his neck. I look behind me to see Matthias stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. He paces back and forth before leaving. I lean closer, my mouth at the shell of his ear.

"Good day or bad day?" I ask.

"Good day." He confirms. I pause before wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I feel a light tremor rack through his body but he still leans back into my touch.

"You should really grow your hair out." I smile and run my fingers through his raven curls. The sides of his head that had been shaved now grow in small curls.

"Yeah?" I humm in response. "Well, you should cut yours."

"You think?" He hummus and his hands reach back to cradle my neck. "Maybe just a style for now." I twist my body around till I stand in front of him.

"You're so beautiful." He breathes. I smile and gently graze my lips against his, before pressing our foreheads together.

"You're so handsome," I smirk. I open my eyes and find him looking intently at me. I make a funny face. "So serious." I giggle and brush our noses together.

He stands up and takes my hand in his as he leads me in front of the window. He secures his hand around my waist. He holds our joined hands up and I smile before placing my hand on his shoulder. He begins to sway back and forth. Soon I tire of being so far apart. I lean into his and wrap my arms around his neck. His arms wrap around my waist, his hands on my back and my head.

He begins to hum. A soft melody erupts from his throat in a deep gravely sound. I sigh and take a deep breath of him in. He smells like tobacco and cologne. Beneath that is a slight hint of pine and rain. I wrap my arms tighter around him. His chin rests atop my hand and we stand with our arms wrapped around each other. We gently sway back and forth as we mentally prepare for the day to come. If everything goes to plan we will be back here by sundown with our money and an empire to build. My stomach flutters and my chest swells with happiness. If I could live in any moment this would be it. No fear, no hate, no pain, just love, and Kaz.

He stops swaying and takes my face in his hands. The sun behind him lights his curls up like a galaxy, purple shines through the raven locks and I smile.

"What are you thinking?" He asks.

"What are you thinking?"

"I want to remember you just like this." His hands grip me tighter. "Full of life and love and you. I want to remember you. Emris, if I die-"

"You're not dying." I object.

"If I do. I want you to know." He sighs and his hands begin to trace circles I've my cheek. "I love you, Emris Arcane." I melt. " from the bottom of my cold twisted heart, I love you."

"I love you too," I admit, a pit forming in my chest. "I am not losing you, okay." Tears fill my eyes. "I can't lose you."

"You might have to." I shake my head.

"I can't, I won't."

He takes my chin and tilts it up. He holds me still as he presses his lips against mine. Sparks fly through my body. Pain and longing fills my chest and I slide my hands up his chest. Tears fill the kiss with a salty tinge. My hands bind themselves in his raven curls. His hands hold me steadily in place and I smile against his soft lips. He slows and I break the kiss and take a breath of air.

"You're not going to lose me, Emris."

"Good," I say, tears streaming down my face.

"You weren't this scared before the ice court job." He teases.

"I didn't have anything to be scared for." I stare into his coffee brown eyes and I feel at home.

"Me either."

AN

I know some might say this is very out of character for Kaz but I think the Good day Bad day thing is kinda realistic. Even in the book, he reminds himself that Inej is alive in the bathroom scene. Anyways love you please comment and vote :)