For Shits and Giggles (complete first draft)

Chapter 14

Flippy sat with his back against a tree just outside of the Barracks, overhearing some mates talking about this or that. He wasn't paying attention, he was too focused on the envelopes in his hand. He pulled out the first letter.

"To my husband,

I miss you so much.

Yesterday, Petunia and Giggles came over for cake again. I baked your favorite, it made me feel closer to you. They really seemed to enjoy it. I think I'm getting better at it. I can't wait for you to come home and see how much I've improved.

How is it over there for you? Are you okay? Do you need anything? I hope the care package I sent made it to you alright. I included those awful chips you like! So spicy.

I love you and think about you every day. I'm so lucky to be your wife.

Love, Flaky ♡ "

He folded it neatly and slipped it back into its white envelope, very carefully. It was the most precious thing to him out here. He was going to write her back soon, but he wouldn't mention the extra miles he and his unit ran as punishment. Care packages weren't allowed in basic, especially not ones addressed to "the strongest, bravest man I know. My husband Flippy".

He read the second letter.

"Flippy,

Or should I say, Private Fliqpy... you're right, it suits you better.

I can pretend it's not really you I'm writing to. Do you miss me? What an awful question to ask a married man... what am I saying, Fliqpy isn't married right? Flippy is.

God, we're terrible. But you're worse. Is adultery only a sin when you're the one married?

Remember Splendid? He finally kissed me last week. Although, the poor idiot was so drunk I doubt he even remembers. Maybe it's better that way, I'm too scared to ask him out properly. Why should I be the one to do it? Besides, he's no you. The things you do to me... it's just not fair.

xoxo, Giggles"

Flippy brought the letter close to his face, it smelled like her perfume. It was intoxicating. He smiled, knowing she'd done it on purpose. He pictured her, holding her half-empty perfume bottle at exactly the right distance— not too close, as to not overwhelm and stain the paper, just enough to hint at her scent. She was the devil. He adjusted his pants.

Inside the envelope was something else. Her photograph— it was a polaroid, written on the bottom: "To the private I wish would play with my privates. Hey Fliqpy, what do you think of my bow? :] "

He laughed, "bow?" Flippy was looking at everything but the bow. Giggles was laying on her bed, naked except for the bright, red bow on her head. She was leaning back on her elbow, her other arm draped over her chest. Her legs were crossed to hide all of the good parts. He wanted to pry those legs open, but instead, he brought the photo to his face and smelled. Perfume.

He heard footsteps approaching and slipped the photo into his jacket pocket quickly.

"Did you hear," Flippy's bunkmate plopped down next to him. "We're getting shipped off sooner than we thought."

"What," Flippy asked, looking at him. "Can't be... what about advanced training?"

"I don't know man," he was chewing on a granola bar, "I heard it's getting real bad over there."

"Can they even do that to us?"

The man shrugged, "I reckon they can do whatever they want with us. Cogs in the machine and all that."

He gave Flippy's shoulder a sympathetic squeeze then stood. Flippy watched him as he left. He took out a pen and paper and wrote.

"To the loveliest of wives, my Giggles,"

He sucked in a breath. Flippy crumbled the paper and started over.

"To the loveliest of wives, my beautiful Flaky.

I miss you more than you know."