For Shits and Giggles (complete first draft)

Chapter 30

Flaky kneeled down in front of the altar, her head bowed to pray.

The sunlight was colored blue and purple and pink by the stained glass of the Church windows. Flippy knew she would be there.

"Flaky," he spoke softly, quietly, so as to not startle her. She jumped anyway and screamed. She whipped her head around, seeing Flippy standing at the end of the aisle, just outside the Church doors. He didn't dare take a step closer.

"What are you doing here," she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I needed to see you."

She stared at him and for a long time, she said nothing. He waited for her to speak.

Flaky turned back around, looked up at Jesus pinned high above the alter on His cross.

"Do you remember... this is where we got married," she said, mostly to herself.

"Of course I remember," Flippy took a step inside, cautiously making his way down the aisle toward her. She glanced over her shoulder and said nothing. Instead, she clasped her hands together, bowed her head down, and prayed.

He kneeled slowly beside her, keeping a couple of feet's distance, and bowed his own head to pray. He prayed to a God he wasn't even sure he believed in anymore. He prayed that Giggles was found so that they could end this curse. He prayed for Flaky– for her peace, for her safety, for her forgiveness. He prayed for his own soul that would surely be damned to Hell after all of this was over.

He heard Flaky sniffle. He opened his eyes to see her quietly sobbing into her hands.

"Oh Flippy," she wept. "How could you do it? How could you cheat on me?"

He gripped his hands together. He wanted to pull her in, to hug her and hold her for the rest of his miserable life. But he didn't move a muscle. He didn't want to scare her.

"I was stupid, Flaky," he started. "I'm the stupidest man in the world for doing something like that to you."

"Did you... did you ever have sex in our bed?"

"No!" He yelled, Flaky flinched. He quickly lowered his voice again. "No, we never had sex after you and I got married."

"So not an adulterer," she said. "Just a fornicator."

She looked down again, watching her tears drip onto the wood of the kneeling pew. "That's still a sin Flippy. Oh God, how could you?"

"Flaky please," he leaned forward, resting his forehead on the ground to apologize. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I was an idiot. I was young and weak and... I love you Flaky, please."

She closed her eyes, "I loved you so much. Even when I left you, I never wanted to our marriage to end. I just needed space, I was scared and you were hurting me but... not like this," she began to sob again. "You've never hurt me like this."

"I know," he pleaded. "I know I hurt you. I know all I ever do is hurt you but you have to believe me... I love you more than anything in this world. Tell me how I can prove it to you. I'll do anything, just tell me."

She took a moment to catch her breath between her tears, "When we got married we made a promise to each other," she said. "We made a promise to God."

His heart thumped against his chest. Flippy kept his forehead on the ground and braced himself. He braced himself for the words he never thought he'd hear his devoutly Catholic wife speak: I want a divorce.

"I would never break a promise to God. I may have married a sinner, but I won't become one."

Her voice rang in his ears.

"We can work through this," she said.

The relief overwhelmed him. He brought his forearms underneath his face and bawled.