For Shits and Giggles (complete first draft)

Chapter 16

"Russell," Flippy yelled, kneeling over his bunkmate's body and shaking him by the shoulders. The rain was falling heavy and he could barely hear himself yell. "Russell, I swear to God— fucking, shit, you stupid piece of shit, wake up, WAKE UP!"

Russell was dead. The upper half of his skull had been blown off, he was missing a hand. Flippy couldn't tell if it was brains or something else oozing out of the empty eye socket.

"Don't leave me like this," Flippy was sobbing, shaking Russell violently as if somehow that would bring his friend back to life. He didn't want to leave him here. Without Russell, Flippy wouldn't have made it this far.

When Flippy had confessed everything to Ruseell, there was no judgment. He'd only said, "Most of us miserable shits can't even get one woman, and you've got two? Choose one, or you'll lose both."

Admittedly, it wasn't the best advice. It wasn't so simple, the choice wasn't just his. Long ago, he had chosen Giggles. He would've left Flaky in a heartbeat. But Giggles hadn't chosen him back, and now he couldn't imagine a life without Flaky. He couldn't imagine leaving her.

Flippy forced himself upright and stumbled forward, his boots squelching loudly in the mud. He'd been shot in the thigh and the adrenaline was starting to wear off. Three of his fingers were broken at the knuckles, one eye was swollen shut, and his ears were ringing. The pain was immeasurable. Flippy could do nothing except force one foot in front of the other and move.

But there was nowhere to move. There was nowhere to go. He'd stumble a couple feet and immediately catch a bullet in his head— and that was the best-case scenario. His unit had been ambushed in their camp, but they weren't just being killed. They were being tortured, tormented, played with. Amidst the chaos, Flippy spotted Russell's body. He managed to haul him toward a small, muddy hill. They fell and rolled down until crashing behind a tree. Here, Flippy thought he could save him. But any minute now they'd be found. Flippy couldn't run, couldn't call for help, Russell was gone— he was done for.

At least here, his secrets would die with him. The guilt, the confusion, it would all end here. Flippy laid down with a soft grunt, his body parallel to Russell's. He was exhausted, his body welcomed the rest immediately. He reached for Russell's cold, pale hand and held it, turning to look at what was left of his bunkmate's face. Staring back was a hollow, broken shadow.

"Now, I won't have to choose," Flippy laughed weakly and turned to look up at the sky. It was dark, the heavy rain drops didn't let him see past his nose. But the coolness felt good on his swollen face. He revelled the feeling of drifitng away.

Then, suddenly, the rain froze in the air.

His body didn't hurt anymore, the fogginess in his head had cleared. He couldn't hear the screaming anymore— the begging and pleading for mercy from the rest of his unit. Everything was still. This is what it feels like to die, Flippy thought, enjoying the false calmness. Maybe it was just the sudden contrast between pure exhaustion to then nothingness, but Flippy felt pure bliss. There was no fear, no regret. He knew to enjoy this moment because soon, he would be in Hell atoning for his sins. Would there really be an angel waiting for him at the Gates of Heaven to pass judgment? Would he get to apologize, plead his case and show true remorse before God?

Instead, God came to him. Or so he thought.

First, he heard Her voice.

"Do you really wish to die?"

The sudden burst of white light almost blinded him. He closed his eyes tightly, but even through his eyelids, he could see the flash. The brightness materialized into a shape, a figure. It was a woman, she was inhumanly tall hovering above him. When the light began to fade, he noticed her deep, umber skin and white hair blowing in some invisible wind. Her eyes were golden, or maybe it was just two sunst.

"Are you... God," Flippy asked. He wasn't sure if he had spoken out loud, or if She'd simply read his mind.

"Some have called me God," She said, her voice soft like velvet. "I've been called Genie, Faerie, Witch, Leprechaun."

Flippy squinted, he would've laughed if he had the energy, "You... don't look like a Leprechaun..."

"I don't look like anything. I took this form so that you may perceive me."

She must be an angel, Flippy thought, ready to take me to His kingdom. Am I forgiven?

"...Am I dead?"

"You are not. Do you wish to be?"

Flippy was shocked by his own hesitance. He should've blurted out an answer, he should've begged Her to live, but he didn't.

"I don't think so..."

"Then you will live. If you make a deal with me."

"A deal?"

"Yes. I will save your life. In return, you will invite me into your town," a wicked smile spread across her face.

"...I don't understand," said Flippy.

"I need to be welcomed in before I can take residence amongst humans. So in exchange for your life, welcome me into your town."

None of this made sense to Flippy, his head began to spin, "Russell... can you save Russell," he asked.

She turned her head from side to side, slowly like a flower moving through molasses, "Your friend is already dead."

Flippy could feel his breathing quicken, he tried hard not to hyperventilate. Russell's really dead. That could've been me. That was almost me.

When Flippy didn't respond, She continued. "Your lives are so short. I've lived a thousand of your lifetimes. Millions. Make the deal with me, and I'll make sure you and your friends never suffer the loss of Death again. You will wake up every morning, alive and well."

Maybe it was the tiredness, maybe it was the immense pain of Russell's death, but Flippy began to nod. She really was an angel, She would help him. More importantly, She would make sure he'd never lose anyone else again.

"Deal," he said.

A thin smile spread across her cheeks, pure light bleeding from between her teeth. The woman swooped in closely, so quickly that Flippy had no chance to react. The light emanating from her was blinding, his eyeballs began to melt from his skull. He could feel his flesh start to bubble and boil. "Deal," she whispered. Flippy screamed in agony.

The deal was sealed with a kiss.