For Shits and Giggles (complete first draft)

Chapter 17

Fliqpy tied Sniffles down in the same chair Petunia had been.

"You're making a big mistake," Sniffles argued, struggling against the restraints only a little bit. He knew it was no use, the restraints wouldn't give.

Giggles had put Petunia into new clothes before she woke up again. They were simple, white robes, that they'd found while rummaging around the building. They were clean. Fliqpy picked up Petunia's unconscious body and moved her into the bathroom of the bunker. There, Giggles washed her hair thoroughly in the communal shower, she wiped her face of any dust along with the rest of her body. When Petunia finally woke up, she was fresh and clean and no longer a danger to herself.

Now the three of them sat at the table, Petunia and Giggles listening to Fliqpy speak.

"You... you two were having an affair?" Petunia looked at Giggles, mortified.

Fliqpy spoke up for Giggles, who looked just about ready to puke.

"I didn't marry Flaky, he did."

"What the hell are you talking about," Petunia almost yelled. "Does the ring on your finger mean nothing to you? You expect us to believe some... some story about there being two of you? Do you hear yourself? The angel-leprechaun-demon thing I can believe, but this..."

"It's the truth," he said, gritting his teeth. He scraped his nails down the wooden table to stop himself from lunging and ripping Petunia's lips right off her face. Petunia noticed and lowered her tone. She addressed Giggles instead.

"Giggles... please tell me it's not true, tell me you didn't sleep with Flippy..."

"We stopped sleeping together as soon as they were married," Giggles finally said, softly. Even if she wanted to deny it, she couldn't. "It's not so bad! We only sent letters."

"How can you sit there smiling like that," Petunia looked at her with such disgust, you would think it was her own husband Giggles had slept with. "You were her maid of honor for Gods sake..."

"I know," Giggles had tears streaming down her face now. "It was such a beautiful wedding," she wept, her eyes fully yellow.

"It doesn't fucking matter now," Fliqpy cut in, noticing the tears. "I wasn't lying when I said the curse is in your eyes."

They both stared at him intently, Giggles especially.

"That witch," Fliqpy continued. "She said every deal needs a deal breaker. Something of importance to the deal maker... something with enough emotional potency to undo the original deal."

"Wait... so you made Giggles' eyes the deal breaker," Petunia asked, "because you loved her more than Flaky?"

"No," Fliqpy frowned. "I made them her eyes because I hated her. The way she looked at me so easily and lied. I figured, if I ever wanted to break the curse... her eyes were a fitting sacrifice."

"I didn't lie..." Giggles said meekly, "I didn't... I didn't love you... not until after the letters," she cried.

"I know that now," he said, no hint of regret or remorse in his voice. "I was lost, confused. I thought Flippy and I were one and the same. But the letters, they were me. I wrote those, not him."

"You can't be serious," Petunia interrupted, "Do you really expect us to believe that shit? You cheated on Flaky, you did. You can try and pin it on some made up alter ego, but it was you."

Flippy stood up suddenly and slammed both hands on the table. The entire thing shook, there was blood underneath his fingernails from scraping the wood. "Remind me again," he growled, "Why I shouldn't gut you right here?"

Petunia shrunk back again, Giggles chimed in to defuse. "Why? Why did you wait so long to tell us?" Giggles asked.

"Because," he said. "I enjoyed watching you all suffer. Especially you." There was acid in his voice.

Giggles gulped as he continued, "But... it's not fun anymore." His voice softened.

Fliqpy sat back down. "I was fine, letting Flippy suffer the consequences. I got to take my anger out on all of you. When I was done, Flippy was left to deal with it. Everyone hated him, and I loved that. But I'm tired."

You're tired? We never get to take a break. We're the ones suffering because of you. We don't get to retreat and have someone else take control, you don't know what tired is.

That's what Giggles wanted to say, instead simpler words fell out of her mouth, "If I am the deal breaker, what can I do?"

He looked her up and down slowly, "We have to give Her your eyes."

"How do... I give Her my eyes?"

"We rip them out of your pretty little head and bury them underneath the tree. Then, the deal will be broken."

The seconds passed like hours.

"I see," Giggles whispered, barely loud enough for them to hear. "I'll do it... I'll give up my eyes."

It wasn't gouging her eyes out that scared her. She'd suffered much worse under the curse. It was the permanent blindness that made her second guess— not that she could particularly refuse, since her will was still at the mercy of the curse. But if the curse really were to be broken, she'd never get her eyes back. They wouldn't regenerate in the morning as they always did. It wasn't fair, Giggles knew. I didn't ask for this, she thought, why do I have to give up my eyes? Why does it have to be me? But she knew not to ask. She knew not to lament out loud. In some part, she was also responsible for this— however indirectly or unintentionally. Giggles knew someday she would have to atone for what she'd done to Flaky, but she never imagined it would be like this. Why must the ultimate sacrifice be hers, if it was Flippy who cheated?

"I guess your luck has run out after all..." Petunia said after another few moments, "Maybe this is why you didn't get a curse. Just some stupid, color-changing eyes and sick sense of humor."

Giggles' eye twitched. She began to giggle hysterically, tears filled her eyes. The giggling turned into laughing, and then yelling. She laughed so loudly that she thought her head might burst— the laughing turned into hyperventilating. She grasped her chest, fighting to breathe. It was getting harder to fill her lungs. The more she tried, the more it felt like she was choking. Dying.

Petunia looked away. It was beyond her, how Giggles could be laughing at a time like this. "I love how you're always able to make light out of serious situations," she'd said to Giggles once. But she had never meant it so literally. Now, Giggles had hurt Flaky worse than any curse and could only laugh herself to tears. Petunia was disgusted. With her, with Flippy who would rather make up all kinds of ridiculous excuses than own up to his part.

"We're going to get out of here," Fliqpy said, standing up. He walked over to Lifty and Shifty's cell and started poking in the code he'd gotten from Sniffles. "You're going to get your affairs in order, say your last goodbyes," he looked at Giggles who had collapsed onto the floor. Her face was turning different hues of reds and purples, she was clawing at her throat as if that would help her breath. Neither Fliqpy nor Petunia helped her.

"And then first thing tomorrow, we're getting rid of this damned curse."