Dark Moon MC Series I:My Biker Twins

Chapter 20

How do I answer that question?
The burn in my thighs along with their concerned gazes made me realise how fucked and ungrateful I am.
I saw Zander's eyes trail over me and stop at where I am holding my skirt so tightly.
He gently pried off my fingers from my skirt and lifted it.
Shame hit me not for being exposed infront of them but because of my secret.
Then I heard a hitch of breath and the entire scenario flashed in my eyes

They'll be disgusted
They'll see you as a freak
They'll abandon you

"Sweetie? Bambi!"
I felt someone shake me lightly but it felt strong enough to knock my breath.
All I could think was how how I could get away from here, somewhere no one could see what a failure I am.

"Bambi don't shut us out please"Xander whispered placing a hand at my back and that got me

I bursted into tears at the position I put myself into and these guys were nothing short but hurting for me.

Why Bambi Xander asked holding my face between his hand "Is it because of us baby?"
I quickly shook my head I trembled as I explained what happened after Mama and Dad's death.

I spiralled into depression as I felt like I lost anyone that I ever loved
Mama
Dad
Xander and Zander
And I convinced myself to be my fault which my therapist told me was stupid but I couldn't get over the guilt of it.The cuts lessened the guilt even if it was for a while and eventually I began to depend on it almost like an toxic lover.
By now I was sobbing my heart was aching and my thighs began to burn due to the tension I hadn't had the time to be stuck in my own and head and now the situation was compl different long periods of silence brought all the thoughts I didn't want to think of my cat,my home my pervious life.
Suddenly Zander lifted my chin making me face him "We're here Bambi forever even if you let us have you,you need to feel pain you'll come to be okay?''
I nodded
"Words darling"
"Yes''
He tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes at me "Yes what?''
I gaped up at him before finally saying "Yes Papa''
His face filled with warmth "Good girl''
Suddenly Xander came and picked me up and they did their weird eye mojo and proceeded to take me to the bathroom when they nursed my cuts as they whispered sweet nothing's that made me feel that made me feel so much younger I look at them both and asked 
"Are you mad at me? Are you disgusted with me?
"No baby we're just hurt you felt you need this as a method to cope ,we were so in our own heads and egos that we lost the one good thing in our lives:our precious Bambi"
Xander slowly kneeled and very gently kissed my scars and the bandaged cuts and was about to go for another sobbing fit when Zander suggested we do a movie night and for some reason rather than feeling shame at being caught there was a sense of relief like they had finally seen me all of me and they still want to stay and I wanted them to.
I still hadn't asked them about the weird guy as I was too scared to know the truth and I trust them enough to tell me if there was an update and instead I focused on spending a night with the two men who once held my entire heart.