~9~

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"Killua, are you paying attention?" his teacher said, tiredly. Killua looked up. "Y-yes sir, sorry sir" he said, trying to focus. Despite the painkillers he'd taken before he left for school, he was still in an immense amount of pain. He sighed. "please answer the question on the board" dammit... he looked at the board, trying to focus. "Twenty six?" he tried. "Wrong, very disappointing. You used to be my favorite student" There was some snickering in the back from Damian's group, and he gritted his teeth. God I hate this..

He felt so trapped. He was between a rock and a hard place. Stuck between suffering alone, and having to answer questions that might lead his new family to be suspicious of him. That would jeopardize his mission, and to be honest he quite liked it here. "it's ok big brother I'm bad at maths too..." Anya said quietly to him, patting his head. Killua bit his lip. "Yeah but..." Anya hugged him. "it's okay!" The teacher cleared his throat. "Anya, quiet down" he scolded. Killua sat up straight, trying his best to ignore the pain searing through his chest.

He'd been hiding his pain for about a week now, and his body wasn't healing as fast as he'd like. He had to constantly carry bandages to school, and his teachers thought he was just trying to find an excuse to be in class less. His grades had been dropping, and he was falling out of favor with a lot of people. Killua couldn't take many painkillers either. His resistance to both pain and poisons had decreased dramatically, and if he took more than one at his size he could overdose.

Ballet had been brutal. He was limited in his movements, and he had to be extra careful because his uniform was so tight if he started bleeding again while in it he wouldn't able to hide it. He'd been placed with the stage six kids instead of stage two due to his talent, which happened to make things ten times harder for him. After class, he walked back home with his head down, biting his lip. Anya whined, grabbing his hand. "don't be sad.." Killua smiled at her warmly. "I'm not sad sis! Just hungry" Anya smiled. "I want peanuts, you think mama will give me some?" Killua chuckled. "of course she will-"

"Killua" Killua froze when he heard the tone of Loid's voice. Anya glanced at Loid, smiling. "papa!" Killua slowly turned, and bit his lip. His tone had been so...he didn't know how to describe it, but he knew Loid was disappointed in him. He'd been spoken to that way too many times at this point. All Killua could think of was his father looking down at him with a disapproving expression- "Your grades are dropping" Killua lowered his head. "I'm sorry.." Loid sighed. "Not to mention your this close to getting a Tonitrus Bolt due to how much time you spend out of class during the school day"

Killua's eyes widened. "R-Really?" he hadn't realized he was on such thin ice. D-Dammit! Anya gasped. "oh no!" Killua looked down, he couldn't meet Loid's disapproving eyes. "I..I'm sorry..." Loid let out a long sigh. "what's gotten into you lately Killua? You used to be a star student" Killua didn't reply, he couldn't. He....didnt know what to say even if he tried to. Anya suddenly stepped between them. "I promise big brother's trying super hard papa!" Killua refused to look up, he knew he wouldn't be able to meet Loid's eyes. Loid sighed. "Anya-", "he is!"

Killua drowned out the noise of their conversation, trying to beat back the searing pain. Damn..the painkillers are wearing off... The days started to blend together as he tried to just make it through without bursting into tears.

"what's the matter giraffe?" Damian taunted, with a grin. Killua sighed, he was just trying to get to his next class. "Leave me alone Damian" Damian walked over with a grin. "what's the matter? No snarky remarks?" Killua was currently restraining himself from making a very bad decision. At this rate he might snap- Damian jabbed a finger into his chest. "Know your place loser" Killua stiffened, pain shooting through his body as Damian managed to just catch the scab that had just formed. Dammit I think it reopened- Killua couldn't stop himself from showing pain on his face, although he hid it as quickly as he could.

"Wow, I barely touched you. You're so weak" Damian laughed, walking off to his group of friends. Killua rushed into the bathroom, the bell rang but he had to deal with this first. He gritted his teeth as the pain stabbed through his body, taking off his shirt to take off the bloody bandage. He tossed it in the trash down, then tossed some toilet paper on top to hide it. Killua winced as he tied more bandages around the wound, then put his shirt back on. Man I really wish I had access to better medical supplies...

But in order to get that, he'd need to go into a hospital. Killua wouldn't be able to do that, he knew he wouldn't. Killua hurried back to class, and there was a frustrated sigh from the teacher as he entered the classroom. "Killua this is your fourth tardy" Killua looked down. "I-I'm sorry I-" The teacher spoke gruffly. "No excuses, I've heard it all. I'll be speaking to the headmaster about this" he stiffened, then sat down. "Y-Yes Mr...." Anya hugged him. "hey it'll be ok big brother..."

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Loid was sitting in front of him with a disappointed look on his face again. Yor stood by with a worried expression. "Killua.." Loid said, in a grave tone. Killua tucked his knees in up to his chest, not meeting his eyes. "Y-Yes papa...?" Yor bit her lip. "Loid don't be too harsh on him-" Loid cut her off. "Your absence from class got you a Tonitrus bolt. What's so important that you have to spend so much time out of class Killua?" Yor gasped slightly. "sweetie don't cry-"

Killua hadn't noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks until Yor had mentioned it. Why did it turn out like this? I can't say anything or.... "Loid I think your being too hard on him...he's still passing his classes-", "Yor he went from a straight A student with one B, to C's and B minuses" Killua wiped his eyes. "I'll try harder I promise..." should I just....Tell them? No...no then I'd have to explain...or I'd have to go to the hospital...dammit how did my life get here?

1100 words

To be continued...

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