Riot time in Paris // Billie Eilish G!P

twenty-five

The following morning, Kai woke up with a blazing headache. She opened one eye and looked around the living room. She was on the couch, fully dressed, and it was light, most likely late in the day. Her little get-together with Bernie was only ever supposed to be one drink. Catch up, and then go home. But Alain had joined them, heartbroken after Samantha had left. Kai vaguely remembered him crying at one point, and so she had ordered him another beer and then another, listening to his pain, that wasn't much different from her own. Somehow, it had been comforting to know that she wasn't the only one suffering from a broken heart.

She scanned the living room and established the kitchen door was still open. Outside, Gumbo was barking, the way he barked when he saw a squirrel or a bird, picking up food that was left out overnight. She got up slowly, moaning in agony, to check if her car was in the driveway and sighed in relief when it wasn't. At least I didn't drive back.

There was a pizza box on the table in front of the annex, alongside two empty bottles of beer. She felt the pockets of her jeans. They were empty. Where's my wallet? Barely able to walk, she searched the annex and found it on the kitchen table, next to her phone. In the doorway, she instinctively glanced at the French doors to Billie's bedroom, when it hit her again that Billie was gone. The sadness stabbed her deep in her belly. I should have said goodbye. She stopped for a moment, contemplating whether to continue sleeping in the annex or the main house, but Gumbo's bark reminded her that he needed attention and feeding, so she walked out and called him.

"Hey boy. Sorry I passed out. I forgot about the time," Kai said as she kneeled down and scratched him behind his ears. Gumbo didn't blame her, he never did.

Jumping up and down, he danced around her before speeding off again, chasing a bird. Kai left the door open for him and put food into his bowl. Then she stumbled back into the living room and crashed on the couch, because the bedroom just seemed too far away. Her phone was still in her hand, indicating she had messages.

She sighed and scrolled through them, still with one eye open. When she saw there was a message from Billie, she sat up, suddenly a lot more focused. She read it a couple of times, her heart beating in her throat. Coffee. She needed coffee. And she needed to think.

After hours of contemplating, Kai put her phone down. This was exactly why she didn't do long distance anymore. Of course, she wanted to see Billie. She wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to apologize for walking away. She wanted to look into her beautiful feline eyes, stroke her cheek and tell her that she felt the same, that she loved her. She wanted to make love to her, wake up with her, fall asleep with her. But the past two weeks had been difficult. And now, if Billie came back, even if it was just to talk, the pain would start all over again when she left at the end of her next stay.

Then her visits would be less and less frequent, and so would her replies to Kai's messages, until she finally met someone else. Some high-powered businessman. Or woman. That thought raced through her brain, almost blinding her with rage. There was no point putting herself through this again. No point whatsoever. Kai thought about ignoring the message, but she wanted to do the right thing, and so she replied.

-

Hi Bil, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you too, but as I told you, I really can't do this. I apologize for reacting the way I did, and I wish you all the best in your new job.xxx Kai.

-

Kai regretted sending it almost immediately, but what else could she have done? She walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, searching for another drink to numb her sadness for a little while.

****

"The power of the Holy Spirit and the redemptive love and work of our father in..." Billie's phone vibrated in her pocket and she suddenly woke up, startled. She took it out and looked around to make sure no one had noticed she was sleeping. The Ministry seemed to last longer than she remembered, and she had struggled to keep her eyes open until finally, she'd fallen into a blissful sleep next to her parents on one of the front benches.