Counting on Stars // NCT Ten

Lovely: Byeol

"It's just me, you, and the music."

Byeol began counting in her head when the music started playing. Her heart was beating really loudly in her ears, but she pushed away the feelings of nervousness. She copied Ten's actions as he lifted his hand and moved his chin. It was like looking at a mirror and finding someone completely different. Almost everything about them contrasted, from their clothing to their confidence.

Byeol reached her hand forward and lightly touched her fingertips against his. The corner of her lips suddenly twitched upwards in a smile as a memory of San and her flashed through her mind.

Even if our hands can't touch, our hearts always will.

She watched as they lowered their hands and ultimately broke contact. She turned her head back to Ten and locked eyes with shining, beautiful ones. Byeol never realized how similar his and San's eyes were. Under the lights of the stage, she saw the same starry gaze... like she could see the whole universe in them.

She took a deep breath and let herself be immersed into the music. It's now or never.

"Thought I found a way..."

Byeol reached forward and placed her right hand on his neck as she felt him do the same. The touch was familiar. She yanked her hand backwards on the beat, then reached out with her other hand and moved his face to the side, forgetting that the same was going to be done to her. She channeled the sudden adrenaline of surprise into her right hand and raised it high, then swooped down, lowering herself onto her knee. She held his hand and they lifted each other all the way up, standing on their toes, before breathing out and descending to the ground.

It's almost like she couldn't see Ten there. She was so focused on getting the choreography right that the boy in front of her was just... a boy in front of her.

She continued counting in her head, moving her arms and legs just as she learned, keeping her face in the lifeless expressions she practiced. She reached out and then reached up, then moved forward, closer to the boy.

He circled his hand forward the way she circled her head backwards, almost as if he was controlling her. Byeol... didn't like being controlled. She was controlled all her life.

She grabbed the boy's wrist and pushed him away, then pushed him away again, until she was on the floor. Somewhere distantly, she heard something like the crowd shouting. She suddenly felt a hand slide up her back, pressing into it, and her breathing hitting the stage became shaky. She lifted herself up on the beat. She didn't want to be controlled. She wanted freedom. She knew what was going to happen next and she shook her head, but the hand she's been expecting pushed her back down forcefully, her face almost hitting the floor. She pushed herself back with more force this time and stood up, spinning the boy around so he was facing the floor this time.

She pulled his hand backwards and he straightened up. Byeol felt bad, almost guilty, looking down at the boy in front of her.

In her grip, he felt so much like

Her eyes were sad as she moved his hand to cover his eyes. It was her fault that they broke up, wasn't it? If she didn't move, they would probably still be so happy.

But he should be partially blamed as well. He wasn't man enough to handle a long distance relationship, or even stick to his promises. That wasn't her fault.

She placed her hand on his shoulder and shoved him forward, making him bend over to the stage floor this time. She pulled him back up and circled his hand around his head, letting go and stepping back as he held his wrists to his face. She stepped forward and bent down, sliding her arms around his torso. She firmly grabbed the front of his neck and held her nose against the back of it, breathing out shakily from the close proximity. Her love was bleeding into hate.

She let go and spun on the floor, transitioning into the next section of the song. More drum beats started to mix with the vocals. The rest of the choreography was full of intricate, fast movements, so Byeol told herself that she really needed to focus. She made sure her positioning behind the boy was correct and she danced like she was his shadow. They were one; two parts of one performance. Two halves of the same soul.

Byeol ran in small paces to the other side of the stage, away from him. This was where their actions would impact one another without direct contact, quite opposite to the start of the song.

"Isn't it lovely?"

Byeol closed her eyes and inhaled, letting her body move with her breathing. She grabbed her neck when she knew he was raising his hand. When the light in a soul becomes hopeful, the darkness in a soul struggles to survive. He was reaching out while she was drowning; both were engulfed in the darkness of the theater. Her eyebrows furrowed as she ripped her arms to the side, freeing herself from unseen shackles. She turned her face to look at the boy as she moved her arms towards him. He lightly held his shirt, looking at the fabric.

Byeol took a breath and spun around, almost smiling as she felt her hair fly around, then jerked to a stop and held her hands in fists as if she was trying to capture the feeling. But nothing was there. She opened her fists and looked at her empty hands, breathlessly lowering herself to her knees. Shaking, she looked up, then turned away from the silent crowd. Her arms followed her shift in gaze. She stood up and stepped back. Her beating heart was anticipating the explosion of music. It was going to be loud. It was going to be huge.

With every passing millisecond, she emptied her mind. She couldn't mess up.

"Welcome home."

Byeol had braced herself for an impact, but the music was more of an explosion. She involuntarily cried out from the feeling of a grenade exploding in her chest, but the sounds from the speakers drowned her out. She would have lost control of her movements if her subconscious had not taken over, continuing the choreography perfectly. The audience didn't suspect a thing. Once she was able to recover, she regained consciousness of her body and put her entire heart into the performance. This was the moment she was waiting for– the music pounding in her ears, her body moving in a similar wavelength, the crowd cheering, and the rich, pure emotions from the song pulsating through her blood.

It was perfect.

The music became calmer and she caught sight of the boy in white walking away from her. She desperately reached out her hand and he stopped in his tracks. Breathing heavily, tears brimming her eyes, she walked forward as he walked backwards. How badly she wished to see San just one more time. She's been through too much over the past few months... so much pain and suffering. All she wanted was comfort; just a little. A breath of fresh air. A sigh of relief. She found herself wishing with every inch of her being that, when she'd see the boy, she'd find San's beautiful, smiling face.

Please.

The boy turned around slowly. Ten's eyes made contact with hers and the tears she's been holding in all throughout the song finally fell. He looked at her with slight concern but she had lowered her eyes to the floor, silently crying. He reached out and held her shoulder as they stepped closer. She sniffled as the tears continually streamed down and he trailed his hand behind her neck, pulling her face into his shoulder. She sobbed as felt his hand gently caressing her hair.

"Hello, welcome home."