Counting on Stars // NCT Ten

Lovely: Ten

"It's just me, you, and the music."

Ten started counting in his head just to make sure he would get the first few, slow movements lined up with hers. He couldn't seem to shake the thoughts of Elaena and Byeol. The mess that the latter and him had to go through just to stand on the stage today.

He examined her face in the shining stage lights as he moved his chin to the side. She did the same, but her eyes looked glossed over, as if she was deep in thought.

They touched fingertips and Ten watched as they lowered their hands. He reminded himself what the whole choreography was really about; something that he does to make sure he portrays the message of the music and the dance to the audience. That's the whole point of performance.

"Thought I found a way,"

Ten reached his hand forward towards Byeol's neck, then yanked his hand away on the beat. He tried again with his other hand and pushed her chin to the side as she did the same. He raised his other arm upwards and then swooped down on one knee. held her hand and they rose to the tips of their toes, then breathed out and descended to the ground again.

He couldn't think too much while performing. He had to focus on the movements, facial expressions, where to be fluid and where to be sharp– a lot went into his choreographies. He simply watched Byeol dance the same way he did, listening to the music intently while anticipating the next drum beat or lyric.

He reached out and reached up, then moved closer to the girl. He circled his hand as she circled her head, then she grabbed his wrist and pushed him away until they were on the floor. Ten looked at her state with a pang of pity in his heart. He ran his hand up her back, a strange feeling of sorrow running through his blood. She lifted herself up, trying to fight him, but they knew the light was stronger. Ten pushed her to the floor again.

Byeol sprung to her feet and pulled Ten's arm with her, making him spin on one knee and lean down to the stage. Ten felt her overwhelming presence as she stood behind him, as if the darkness she symbolized was threatening to take over.

He spotted his parents in the audience just as he closed his eyes. The expression of pain on his face was real; did he do the right thing for tonight?

He felt a hand behind his shoulder push him down towards his knees.

Was Byeol's constant suffering and his arguments with his parents really worth this performance?

He straightened up again and brought his wrists to his face. The music felt a bit too loud. Byeol's arms wrapped around his torso and one hand grabbed his neck harshly as she held her face behind it. Ten felt her shaky breathing on his skin. She was as lost as he was.

He pushed away the overpowering thoughts as he cartwheeled on one hand, transitioning into the next section of the song. He hand to make this performance worth the pain.

He looked at the very back wall and kept his face stoic. He danced flawlessly and he could hear faint gasps from the crowd as they admired his skill. Byeol was a shadow behind him, but she was just as important. They were two parts of one performance; two halves of the same soul.

He took a couple steps back while he heard Byeol's quick footsteps running to the other side of the stage. Ten cupped his hands together and looked into them, breathing heavily, as if there was something very important in it. He reached one hand upwards towards the stage lights shining down on him. He twirled his hand towards his pocket, silently wishing he could keep some of the light with him. His life felt pretty dark lately. He turned and took a step forward, almost smiling with accomplishment, when he paused and grabbed his shirt, looking at the fabric. He couldn't be worth it. He was just another dancer, another 10th grader, another high school student... a nobody.

No, that's wrong. I'm not a nobody.

Ten spun and reached forward with a stronger passion, making himself believe that there was something out there he was trying to find. But his outstretched hands were holding nothing; there was nothing out there for him. Nonetheless, standing on stage with the music pulled thin, the whole crowd holding its breath, shining under the stage lights in his pure white outfit... he found the answer he had been searching for ages.

There wasn't something out that will help Ten be the person who he wants to be. Everything was already inside him.

There wasn't a perfect song that would show the world his talents. There wasn't a perfect place where he could develop his skills even more. Everything he wanted and needed was already inside him. The only problem was, he couldn't bring it out because of the darkness covering over his soul. Constant hatred towards his parents, guilt for the things he couldn't fix... Light was needed in order for anything to come through properly. Nothing could be seen in the darkness. But if only it were that easy.

He walked backwards as the music swelled. Ten pulled himself out of his thoughts and readied himself for the explosion. He knew how deafening the music could get on the stage. Rather than preparing himself for the worst, he prepared himself to embrace it.

"Welcome home."

Ten heard Byeol cry out from next to him, and he threw a worried glance out of the corner of his eyes. The music must've gotten too loud or something. He hoped she was okay; she had worked really hard for this moment. But the song was playing, crowd was cheering, and they were dancing together flawlessly, so Ten came to the conclusion that it was okay. They got through the worst of it.

All that was left to do was dance.

Ten poured his entire heart into the performance.

The music eventually calmed, which meant he turned his back to the girl and started to walk away. On the last drum beat of the song, he stopped in his tracks, holding his hands to his face again. He walked backwards, breathing heavily, muscles aching, hoping to find a place of comfort so he can breath a sigh of relief. He turned to face Byeol and was surprised to find her starry eyes brimming with tears. He looked at her with concern while she lowered her head, tears hitting the stage floor. He trailed his hand behind her neck, pulling her into his shoulder. He gently caressed her hair, silently letting him know that he was there for her, and he felt her sobbing. He couldn't breathe his sigh of relief just yet. Not while Byeol was still in pain.

Before he could find his own place of comfort, he had to be hers.

"Hello, welcome home."