A crooked smile

Chapter seventeen

*Scar's POV*

I've been in the hospital with four for 3 days now. He hasn't shown any sign of improvement or worsening. When I heard that I had killed someone, let alone one of my best friends, I finally broke. I cried in front of everyone: Eric, Peter, Will, Christina, everyone.

I killed Tris, the one person that I could talk to and turn to.

I shot Tris. I killed her. Honestly, I can't believe that I did something like that. Eric says that it wasn't my fault, and I know it's not, but if I could wake up for Four, I could wake up for Tris.

"You need sleep." Eric whispers as he pulls up a chair next to me.

"I know, you've been telling me for the past 3 days, and no matter what you tell me, I'm not leaving." I growl. He lets out a sigh.

"Fine, you have left me no choice than to drop you, and send you to the faction less." I shoot my head up and look him in the eyes.

"You wouldn't."

"Not unless you get your sad ass into your dorm and in bed." He growls, leaving me hanging. I run after Eric and pull back his shoulder.

"You better tell me when he wakes up."

"Trust me, I will. I don't wanna say it, but even I miss him, and that's saying a lot." He replies, leaving the room towards the dining hall. After he left, I went back to Four's room and laced my fingers with his.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. My worst fear, loosing you, came true, and honestly, I don't know if I can handle it. I would rather be through anything my dad gives me than be here in this room sitting next to you, watching you, possibly lifeless when I did this to you. I was so worried that this would happen, and it did. I did this to you, and I don't know if I can ever forgive myself. I know, I know, if you were awake, you would tell me it wasn't my fault and that I should let it go and treat myself with more respect, because you're like that and I know that you would say that." I pause and let a tear drop my cheek. "but I don't know if I can go to sleep knowing that you are 'sleeping', and may never wake up, and it's all my fault. But if you do pass on, one thing I hope you remember: I love you. I took me a while to figure it out. I've lived a terrible life, and you patched it up. You patched my holes, and that I am forever grateful. Four, don't ever forget the love that I have for you." By this time, tears are streaming down my cheeks. I lean down and kiss his forehead and leave to my dorm for some sleep.